Reducing screen time is a real challenge. Devices have become so ingrained into our lives that it can be hard to know how to make a change. Here are some ideas that might help you to reduce time spent on them. I recommend that each family creates a device management plan, a set of rules that you and your family follow in relation to how devices are managed in your lives. It will be something that is created collaboratively, with you all inputting to, agreeing to and hopefully adhering to. When everyone knows what the rules are, it can help to reduce conflicts. You may not do all of them all the time, but you might consider adding in some of these ideas when it works for you and your family.
1. Turn off notifications
When a notification pings, or even if we see the red notification symbol on our screens, it will alert our minds to take action and pay attention. This draws our attention to the phone and once it has drawn us in, it can be hard to put it down. By turning off notifications, you are taking charge of your device and how you use your device.
2. Tidy your screens and move apps to folders that are not easy to access
By moving apps to a different folder, it requires us to engage our brain more, making the process less automated. This should give us more time to become consciously aware of what we are doing so that we can stop it.
3. Consider using a ‘dumbphone’
A dumbphone is basically an old-fashioned phone. It has text messaging and phone calling and perhaps Snake. As the phone is not smart and doesn’t have apps on it, it is less compelling to use, meaning that you are less likely to spend as much time using it.
4. Take a break from social media for a while
Give yourself a break from the routine of scrolling, liking and comparing for a while. It may feel uncomfortable but if it does, you most likely need to engage in the social media break for longer. You will be surprised how much you can get done with your time. Consider keeping a log of how you feel without social media.
5. Go to the bathroom without your phone
How many people take the phone to the bathroom with them? Can you even relax enough to go to the bathroom without a phone? Try getting used to going to the bathroom without the phone.
6. Charge your phones in the kitchen
By doing this, everyone has to detach from their phones. It might even get everyone up in the morning as they want to rush downstairs to get their phones, although I joke! The ideal would be that children are not so addicted to their device that they wake up wanting to check it.
[ More than 80% of primary school-aged children have smartphones in their bedroomOpens in new window ]
7. No devices in the bedrooms
Even throughout the day, when children are alone in their rooms on devices, aside from the online risks, it is far easier for them to waste their days and evenings mindlessly scrolling. If they have to come downstairs to use a phone, they are less likely to spend as much time on it, and you can also address it if they are in eyesight.
8. No devices before breakfast time
The morning routine is already likely quite busy and stressful. When you add devices into the mix, people may have heightened stress because of what they are looking at. They may be distracted by what they are watching, and this can add time on to an already busy morning. More importantly, spending the morning connecting with each other by talking and making eye contact is a healthier and calmer way to start the day.
9. No devices at the dinner table
Time at the dinner table should ideally be focused on the food you are consuming and the people you are dining with, not on something that is happening somewhere else via your phone.
[ Adults and smartphones: ‘I lose about six to eight hours a day on my phone’Opens in new window ]
10. No devices one hour before bed
The blue light emitted from phones causes a flood of cortisol into our brains and bodies, which can impact our sleep. Additionally, this blue light inhibits the production of melatonin, which is a sleep hormone. Ideally, no devices for AT LEAST an hour before bed, but if you have difficulty sleeping, try disconnecting from your device a few hours before that.
11. No devices when out for meals
When going out for meals, this is a great opportunity for children to learn to manage their patience, boredom and behaviour, and for young children to learn about the world and others.
12. Utilise the settings on phones
Smartphones have a huge number of options. We can create periods of time where we don’t want to be bothered; we can create different settings on different screens; we can manage limits on our child’s phone. Consider what you find difficult or annoying and remove it.
13. Always have separate work and personal phones
I can’t stress this one enough. Have a separate phone number for work. Personal time is important and phones make having a healthy work-life balance extremely challenging.
14. Remove emails from phones in the evening and at the weekend, or times when you are not working
If we leave our work emails on our phones, there can be a tendency to check them without being consciously aware that this is what you are doing. By the time you realise, it is too late. You’ve been pulled into the phone, your mind has been alerted and maybe bothered by something going on at work, and you may struggle to switch off and relax again.
[ Parents, if you’re going to ban anything, ban devices from bedroomsOpens in new window ]
15. Ask your partner/friend/child/parent to tell you when you’ve descended into your phone
With all the will in the world, unfortunately these powerful devices still get the better of us from time to time. By asking your family and friends to point out when you are using your device, as well as maybe highlighting what you are like when you are on your device, it will help you to develop self-awareness.
16. Have open conversations about devices with your children
If we want our children to come to us with concerns and be open and honest with us when problems arise online, we need to create a safe and open space for them. By starting these conversations with your children, it normalises talking about these matters and it creates the space for them to come to you if they ever feel that they need to.
17. Play a game without a phone or device
Play a board game or play an outdoors game or do a sport. Engage and connect via something that doesn’t involve technology. It is good for our brains and our bodies and is much more enjoyable than anything involving a screen.
18. Find other friends who have the same views and approaches to device use as you do
If your child feels that other children have the same rules and restrictions, it is less likely to create that feeling of missing out that many parents fear for their children.
19. Learn about the online world with your child
We wouldn’t allow our children to venture into real-world spaces we weren’t familiar with and this should be no different online. Explore their online worlds with them. We need to learn about these worlds because they likely know far more than we do. We can’t provide advice or keep our children safe in a space that we know nothing about, therefore learning about these spaces is essential. Create an open dialogue with your children about what they are doing online. If we are interested in their games and their choices, they are more likely to be open with us about their online worlds, and we need them to be open with us so that we can offer advice when it might be needed. If a child feels scared to come to us or feels that we won’t be interested, they might end up in a dangerous position where they are managing situations online alone.
20. Delay introducing phones into a child’s life
The best way of managing device use with children is to delay the introduction of devices. For many of us the horse has already bolted and at this point it is about managing device use, but for future generations it is much easier to delay the introduction of these devices into the child’s life until they are mature enough to cope with the responsibility of being exposed to online content and the nuances of relationships conducted via text alone. Your children will learn from the device use behaviours that you exhibit, from your boundaries and rules regarding device use, and restricted use will be totally normal to them. You can gradually introduce devices by first introducing certain elements of a phone that are not so addictive and compelling. In the future, there may be devices that are designed specifically for teenagers that don’t have social media or full worldwide access to everything, only the basics, which is enough for a teenager.
An edited extract from Generation Zombie by Charlotte Armitage, published by Hachette.
