Coercive control by neglect
Sir, – A quiet but deeply damaging form of coercive control is impacting many custodial parents in Ireland – most often mothers – who are left to shoulder the full burden of parenting in the absence of consistent or meaningful involvement from non-custodial parents.
While access and maintenance orders may exist on paper, the reality on the ground reveals a stark imbalance. Custodial parents face legal consequences if they obstruct access, yet there is little to no accountability for non-custodial parents who repeatedly fail to honour their obligations – emotionally, practically, or financially.
This neglect is not merely inconvenient; it is often financially devastating and emotionally exhausting. One friend recently arranged, at considerable personal cost, for her children to be collected by their father so she could attend a rare social event. At the last minute, he simply failed to show. There were no consequences. Her plans, her money, and her trust were all wasted.
Another woman I know is raising a child entirely alone, after the father emigrated and ceased all involvement. She receives no financial support and has no recourse. Meanwhile, outdated maintenance figures remain fixed, untouched by inflation, and arrears are repaid slowly and interest-free – a stark contrast to the credit union loans some parents are forced to take out just to keep up.
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These stories are far from isolated. They point to a systemic issue: a failure to enforce parenting and financial responsibilities fairly. The result is a legal and social blind spot that allows one parent to opt out, while the other is left to carry the full emotional and economic weight.
It is time this imbalance was recognised for what it is: a form of coercive control by neglect. Legislative reform is urgently needed. This should include automatic inflation adjustments to maintenance, interest on arrears, enforceable penalties for repeated breaches of access agreements, and reassessments of financial contributions where one parent is absent from a child’s daily life.
Children deserve stability and support from both parents. When one fails to contribute, the other should not be left to suffer in silence.
Even after a controlling partner leaves the home, their influence often lingers. By withholding financial support, disregarding access arrangements, or disappearing entirely, they continue to exert control – limiting the custodial parent’s finances, eroding their free time, and draining their energy. The result is a sustained form of dominance that isolates and exhausts, long after the relationship has ended.- Yours, etc,
MELISSA O’SHEA,
Delgany,
Co Wicklow
Tourist Tax
Sir, – One of the factors that should be borne in mind regarding proposals being pursued for consideration by the four Dublin councils (“Plans afoot to tax hotel guests in Dublin” Business, April 17th) is that a considerably lower amount of VAT of 13.5 per cent applies to hotel rooms, compared with the standard rate of 23 per cent.
Much of the sustained justification for this rate would stem from a Covid crisis recovery standpoint but that case has effectively elapsed. A blanket VAT rate also has to be applied to all hotels in the State where the business environment is not uniform, where the Dublin hotel sector is very strong while hotels in other parts of Ireland would have a different trading scenario where a lower VAT rate would still be more justified.
According to a Deloitte survey (Ellen O’Regan, Business, January 15th, 2024), hotel occupancy levels are robust with a rate between 83-85 per cent in the Dublin area.
Accordingly, with approximately 25,000 rooms in the Dublin region, a levy of 5 per cent – as is scheduled to be initiated in Edinburgh in 2026 where the measure is forecast to raise approximately €120 million per annum (Edinburgh having a lower population than Dublin) – would raise over €100 million if implemented.
In the Dún Laoghaire-Rathdown area, with a far lower number of hotels compared to other Dublin local authority areas, it would still be expected that such a measure at a levy of 5 per cent could raise in the realm of €4 million to €5 million for investment into local community services.
Significantly, implementation of the hotel levy would considerably offset any future need by councils to raise commercial rates generally which are relevant to all local businesses. Many such local businesses are compelled to charge the full standard rate of 23 per cent for their products and services. Even with a hotel levy on rooms, the levy plus the current lower rate for hotel rooms would still represent a lower collective charge than the full standard VAT rate. – Yours, etc,
Cllr JOHN KENNEDY (Fine Gael)
Dún Laoghaire
Co Dublin
Gold mine in the Sperrins
Sir, – On January 15th, 2025, a public inquiry into an application to construct a gold mine in the Sperrin Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty in Co Tyrone was suspended because the Northern Ireland Department for Infrastructure (DfI) failed to notify the Irish Government and conduct full trans-boundary consultation, as per its own legal procedures. It is the largest mining application in the history of the island, in one of the most legally protected landscapes in Europe.
All treated wastewater and sewage from the mine will ultimately discharge into local rivers, including the Owenkillew River SAC, a site of European significance for several species, including the rare freshwater pearl mussel, the Native Atlantic salmon, and otter.
Furthermore, the Owenkillew River SAC is hydrologically linked to Lough Foyle Ramsar site (protected by the Convention on Wetlands of International Importance Especially as Waterfowl Habitat), the River Foyle and Tributaries SAC (including the River Finn SAC in Donegal) which, together with smaller tributaries, form an ecological continuum linking the north and south of Ireland.
The trans-boundary issues include not only potential impact on water ecology and water quality, but also destruction of breeding sites for migratory birds, destruction of peatland, and destruction of important shared cultural heritage.
After receiving the documentation from the DfI, our Government requested trans-boundary consultation. This means that citizens, civil society organisations and public bodies in Ireland can submit their comments on the gold mine and ancillary applications to planning@infrastructure-ni.gov.uk before the close of business on April 23rd, 2025. – Yours, etc,
Dr AMY STRECKER,
Associate professor,
UCD Sutherland School of Law,
Dublin 4.
Two-tier Irish rugby
Sir, – We read in this paper (“Wilkins officially steps down as head coach of Connacht”, Sport, April 17th) how Pete Wilkins, the Connacht Rugby coach, has formally left the province. Ulster also lost McFarland, their coach, midseason. Munster had the same experience, losing Graham Rowentree, their coach midterm.
Munster outhalf Jack Crowley only had his contract renewed in the days before the province’s huge Champions Cup match against Bordeaux, a week immediately after their incredible victory over La Rochelle.
Days after that match, the Irish Rugby Football Union raised the provincial contribution to national player contracts to 40 per cent, allegedly to aid the development of clubs across the country.
Shortly afterwards, the announcement was made of a seven-month contract with Leinster for Rieko Ioane, at a reported cost of €200,000. Starting in December, he will fill fellow All Black Jodie Barrett’s place. Both are supplicants to the 53-man Leinster players’ panel.
Johnny Sexton, meanwhile, is on board for the national/Leinster team (is there a separating line?) with the brilliant Sam Prendergast a beneficiary.
Is it possible that there are two different standards at play here? – Yours, etc,
BOB BARRY,
Ashbourne,
Co Meath.
Chlorine in chicken
Sir, – I see that hoary old chestnut of American chlorine-washed chicken is once again being used an excuse for floundering EU-US trade talks, along with its fellow Frankenstein food of hormone-treated beef. (“EU dismisses US demands on food standards”, Home news, April 16th).
Forget the fact that 95 per cent of US raw chicken is now cleansed of germs using organic acids such as vinegar and the other 5 per cent that is still chlorine-washed to remove nasty things like salmonella is perfectly safe to eat. Don’t take my word for it – the World Health Organisation, the UN’s Food and Agriculture Organisation, and even the European Food Safety Authority, say so.
I wonder what the poor EU trade negotiators have to eat when they’re Stateside – obviously a KFC bucket or a MaccyD’s quarter-pounder are off the menu and it must take a will of steel for them not to succumb to the expense-account temptations of Washington’s finest steak houses. And do safety concerns mean our Taoiseach takes his own chicken drummers and maybe some quality Irish beef and horseradish sambos for sustenance along with the shamrock when he flies to the White House for St Patrick’s Day every year?
Unlikely, as the US prohibits passengers bringing any foodstuffs into the country, as I found to my cost last year when my cheese and ham sanger was confiscated at Dublin Airport’s US Immigration Pre-Clearance. It really is condescending nonsense that somehow we in Europe care more about food safety than the Americans.
The reality is we want to protect our food markets from being flooded by cheaper goods from abroad with 27 different EU countries looking to protect their own competing interests. This is why EU-US trade talks have gone nowhere in decades and are currently stalled. And not a cow with two heads or a chicken nugget that tastes like an accidental mouthful of swimming pool. Mind you, writing all this has made me thirsty for a glass of water. From the tap. That’s been chlorinated. – Yours, etc,
KEN ANDREW,
Cobh,
Co Cork
Singing poetry
Sir, – I was not surprised to learn that many of Emily Dickinson’s poems can be comfortably sung to the strains of “The Yellow Rose of Texas” (Frank McNally, An Irishman’s Diary, April 18th). In my schooldays, many decades ago, most of our class could only remember the entire 13 stanzas of John Masefield’s “The Rider at The Gate” if we sung them to Elvis Presley’s “King Creole”. – Yours etc,
BERNARD FARRELL,
Greystones
Co Wicklow.
