It is that time of year, when young people are facing major school and university examinations. Few parents and young people see examinations as a challenge, an adventure and an opportunity to communicate knowledge and skills learned.

Regrettably, most face these tests with fear and trepidation. It certainly does not help young people when their parents, either verbally or non-verbally, communicate anxiety and pressure for high exam performance. Students are under enough pressure from an educational system that has lost sight of learning as an exciting challenge and has failed to develop a more effective and fair system of evaluating children's level of knowledge. It is a political fact that the present Leaving Certificate examination results determine whether or not a passport is provided for entrance to third-level education and cover up the fact that the Government continues to fail to provide an adequate number of third-level places. Neither does the unfair competitiveness of the points system show young people they are members of a caring, just society. Furthermore, the high points needed to gain places for certain highly regarded professional careers in no way guarantees the best people for these professions. For example, members of the medical profession have the highest rate of suicide, drug and alcohol addiction, marital and family breakdown.

Schools and teachers also get entrapped by the examination system, and they are being pressurised by moves to evaluate schools on examination results. Education is not just about the cognitive development of children: it is also about the physical, emotional, social, sexual, creative and spiritual growth of children. Bringing children to a place of peace and acceptance of themselves and others and a capacity to embrace the expansiveness of life is far more important than high examination results. Teachers must resist all attempts at a narrow academic evaluation and put forward proposals for wider assessments. Accountability is integral to the practice of all professions, including parenting, but it must reflect all aspects and responsibilities of the profession.

Apart from acquainting students with their being victims of political failure, there are a number of vital messages parents, teachers and politicians need to get across to students, so that at least some of the pressures of the unfair system are reduced:

1 A student's worth is independent of an examination result. 2 A successful examination result does not mean the student who is successful is deemed more worthy than the student who has not attained his or her ambition.

3 Loving relationships are not threatened or determined by examination results.

4 School examination results are not a measure of intelligence, but merely reflect current level of certain types of knowledge.

5 School examinations fail to measure far more important areas of knowledge and skills, such as emotional, social, creative, spiritual, humour, creativity, physical and sports abilities, life skills and streetwise behaviours.

6 Success and failure are relative terms - and there is no such phenomenon as a successful or failed ure of a person.

The central issue is that parents and teachers must not live their lives through their children's examination and other performances. Children need to be loved for themselves, not for what they do.

Furthermore, failure and success are integral to progress in life, and to make fish of one and flesh of the other misses this fundamental principle of learning. Learning is love made visible, and the tragedy is that it has become a misery and a threat for so many people. Failure and success rotate each other; failure sets the next learning target of a particular challenge and success sets the ground for a new challenge. Failure and success should never have been used as motivating forces; the result has been to dry up the love and eagerness to learn that is present in infants. The target of praise, encouragement and reward must be the sacred efforts to learn, never the performance. It is essential that adults correct these issues in their own lives before they can convince children of their authenticity.

The fact that examinations are not a measure of intelligence, but of knowledge, is rarely communicated to students. There is no such thing as a weak, slow, average or bright student. All students are geniuses.

The reality that they may not always express their intelligence in ways that fit in with the expectations of parents, teachers and society is no excuse for labelling children. It is reasonable to enquire of students why they are not motivated towards or making progress in a particular school subject, but it is counterproductive to criticise them or assume that they are "slow" or "below average". Children cleverly take on the labels that are put on them, and they use them to good effect to reduce further threats to the expression of their real selves.

Next week the column will focus on the self-worth of adults.

Dr Tony Humphreys is a consultant clinical psychologist and author of several books, including Self-Esteem and Your Children's Education.