The psychiatric nurse from Wexford who quit to join the circus

What I Do: Ciara Grey performs as an aerialist in the big top with Circus Gerbola

Ciara Grey worked as a psychiatric nurse throughout the pandemic but when restrictions lifted she returned to her first passion and ran off to join the circus.

I’m a circus artist and performer. Another name would be an aerialist – someone who performs acrobatics high above the ground. I started gymnastics when I was three or four. My auntie is a coach and I never considered not doing it. It was just part of family life. I did it until I was 14.

I was training as a psychiatric nurse in Waterford in 2015 when my friends and I travelled to Dublin to do a circus arts workshop – that was the first time I tried anything aerial. It was so hard. I couldn’t understand how these people could climb up pieces of slippy fabric. It was one of those things where something is really difficult, but you are addicted and thinking, I’ve got to learn how to do that. I had college and work, but I did a few workshops over the summers. It was always in the back of my head.

After I graduated, I got into this routine where I was nursing three days a week and then I drove to Dublin the other four days to take lessons at a circus arts studio in Phibsborough. I learned aerial rope, and the silk – which is two pieces of fabric suspended from the ceiling that you climb and move around with. I also learned hoop, which is the steel ring, and trapeze.

Ciara Grey: 'For my first big top performance, I was really, really nervous. It’s so high, much higher than anywhere I trained before.' Photograph: Enda O'Dowd
Ciara Grey: 'For my first big top performance, I was really, really nervous. It’s so high, much higher than anywhere I trained before.' Photograph: Enda O'Dowd
Photograph: Enda O'Dowd
Photograph: Enda O'Dowd

From my house it was 158km, so it took me two hours to get there. Because I lived so far away, the studio let me do any classes that were on that day. Then I would finish and drive home.

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Having core strength from gymnastics helped me, but aerial performance is very different in that you are dealing with gravity, trying to lift your body upside down, holding on to a rope. Circus draws from other artforms more than gymnastics too: it brings in elements of dance, theatre and performance. For me, gymnastics is very rigid and I struggled when I started aerial performance to get rid of the strict, rigid movements that were drilled into my body.

I auditioned for a circus school and I got in and was due to start in 2021, but then the pandemic hit and I went nursing full-time. I was working in psychiatry of later life, so the more severe dementia cases and acute mental health illnesses in the elderly. We all took an extra shift at the unit I worked at in Wexford, and we just ran with it for two years.

The hardest was adapting to the lifestyle of a professional circus. I grew up in a house, and all of a sudden I was learning how to connect power to my caravan

It was so uncertain at the beginning, there was a lot of fear about Covid. A lot of us were on edge and under pressure. But we were all such a team. It was the worst and the best times of my nursing.

I found it really hard not to be able to train. There was a park near where I worked and I used to go there on my lunch break and hang from the monkey bars. My family has a gymnastics club in Waterford so when restrictions were lifted, they let me set up my own rig to train there.

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I got Arts Council funding last year to see how I could incorporate my experience in mental health into my circus art. I was able to take a big step back from nursing. Circus Gerbola was offering a residency; I got it and joined in October.

I worked with them on building my piece, learning the different parts of performing in the circus. I was really nervous; the other performers had grown up in circus families for generations, they all had such good routines and knew exactly what they were doing. But Gerbola is a real family circus and everyone was so helpful. English isn’t the first language for many people, but that’s not a problem. Circus has its own language.

For my first big top performance, I was really, really nervous. It’s so high, much higher than anywhere I trained before. Then you have the smoke machines and the lights. There was a part of my act where I didn’t know how high I was. I had no idea where the ground was because all I could see was smoke and lights.

Ciara Grey performs with Circus Gerbola in Nass. Photograph: Enda O'Dowd
Ciara Grey performs with Circus Gerbola in Nass. Photograph: Enda O'Dowd

You can’t really see the audience, so it’s actually quite an intimate performance. You can hear cheers but you can’t make people out. My family has travelled to see me perform. They have been so supportive over the years. I know some of my aunties watched me through their fingers. They couldn’t look.

By the second week, performing was the easiest part. The hardest was adapting to the lifestyle of a professional circus. I grew up in a house, and all of a sudden I was learning how to connect power to my caravan.

I’m staying with Gerbola now. We are doing Christmas shows, so I’ll launch back into full tour again in December. Now when I’m performing, I am in the zone. I’m really enjoying it and not really thinking much about what I’m doing. When you are up at the top and you can hear everyone cheering, that’s the best feeling.

- In conversation with Joanne Hunt

Joanne Hunt

Joanne Hunt

Joanne Hunt, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes about homes and property, lifestyle, and personal finance

Enda O'Dowd

Enda O'Dowd

Enda O'Dowd is a video journalist at The Irish Times