How to…build trust with colleagues

Does trust matter?

Trust is the firm belief in the reliability, truth or ability of someone. You can’t demand someone’s trust or fake it, it has to be earned. “The way humans are wired, we will automatically know whether to trust someone. If someone is not genuine, we pick up on that,” says psychologist Keelin O’Dwyer of online therapy platform Fettle.ie. “Trust is something that happens slowly over time and comes from consistency.” You won’t make it if you fake it.

Why is trust important?

When people don’t trust each other, it’s hard to get things done. They won’t want to collaborate or share ideas and a lack of trust can ruin company morale, says O’Dwyer. “It can create a really toxic work environment and that’s not good for our wellbeing. We are social creatures and having good relationships with colleagues is important.”

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How do we create trust?

Body language plays a big role in how others see us — crossed arms, slumped posture and not making eye contact can make us appear mistrusting, says O’Dwyer. “Having open body language and nodding and smiling when someone is speaking to you shows interest, builds trust and makes you seem approachable,” she says. Of course, not everyone is an extrovert and for some, open body language doesn’t come easy so be compassionate and empathetic about personality differences.

Before you set foot in the door of the office or join a call, take a moment. “Sort of ground yourself and look at whether you are bringing a tough morning into work. If you were stuck in traffic, maybe you’re looking quite angry. Be mindful before you step into the office to have a more open body posture,” she says.

Talking is important too. Don’t just ask, ‘How was your weekend?’ Engage. “Behavioural scientists have found asking three, genuine follow-up questions in any situation will build rapport and trust much faster than just asking one question,” says O’Dwyer.

Do the work too

You will earn trust at work by being consistent and showing you can be relied on to get the job done, says O’Dwyer. But don’t hog the limelight. “Acknowledge colleagues’ role in your success. Sharing the spotlight with others builds trust. Express what you have learned from them,” she says. “Share your ideas with them and ask for their feedback, too. This will increase your credibility as a team player.”

Praise others

Praise that is genuinely given will make you appear gracious and humble, do it immediately and not weeks after the fact. “If a colleague helped you get a really difficult project over the line, say so: ‘I want to say thanks to Mary, without her it wouldn’t have been possible’. People really appreciate that.”

Own mistakes

If you don’t know something or you make a mistake, own it. “Being vulnerable, sharing your insecurities or things you find difficult also promotes trust,” says O’Dwyer. “It also shows people they can come to you if they make a mistake.”

Have good intentions

If you are genuine about building relationships and supporting colleagues’ success, they can tell, says O’Dwyer. “If you are only sharing and acknowledging them because you want something, or you want to appear favourable to others, your coworkers will pick up on that and they will trust you less in the long run.”