“Your guests are coming in from the outside world, walking in the front door and going, ‘Oh wow!’ There should be a zing. It’s like theatre, transporting your guests away from busy lives and stresses. As host, you set the stage and are the director. Your guests are the players, in costume and make-up. The curtain goes up: your wonderful night is about to begin!” This is the take of Tracy Rennie, a chef and private caterer, on hosting a great gathering.
‘Tis the season to be entertaining. For those planning on a party, this month or anytime, what makes it enjoyable, for guests and host? Rennie has organised, catered and attended many parties big and small, casual and fancy, and has an insider’s eye on what works and what doesn’t.
She’s lived in Ireland for decades but grew up in South Africa, and talks about how hosting there is “all about being generous and looking after your guests. You’re privileged to have them there, rather than the other way around. You value them, and their effort. You’re giving your time, your warmth, inviting people into your space.
“I think some people forget that when they’re having a party: they’re giving. You are thanking your friends.”
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Hosting a party is all about making your guests feel loved, comfortable, stimulated, fed and watered, she says.
She recalls how growing up in South Africa, “my parents were great hosts. It wouldn’t knock anything out of them to host loads of people. I grew up on a farm with lots of produce. We’d get a roast in the oven or fire up the barbecue, feed a full house. They loved people, loved a feast, a sumptuousness, and I inherited that from them.”
That presumably went some way towards Rennie, years later, training as a chef, though she went the fine dining route, via Raymond Blanc stages and Michelin-starred restaurants. As a caterer she often helps with overall planning and setting as well as doing the food; as an individual, “I love hosting parties,” she says, and it shows: her gatherings are terrific fun, whether they are buzzy, teeming crowds or intimate suppers.
What I love about Irish people is you’d never feel alone in a crowd. They’ve a knack for being warm
Rennie is wary of being prescriptive, and says “a party can take on a life of its own”, but she has lots of suggestions for how to approach it.
Surprisingly, given that she regularly caters parties, dinners and corporate events, “the food isn’t always the most important element of a good gathering”. Plus, “hosting a memorable party isn’t about money (though obviously it helps). There’s always a cost, but it doesn’t need to be overly expensive. While being generous with food, it’s more important to be generous in spirit.”
Meeting and greeting
Greeting guests is very important, says Rennie. “Take the person into the warmth of your home, offer a drink, introduce them to others. When you’re hosting a party, you are having to work. Being generous means sharing your friends, introducing different groups to each other, sharing something to get them started. You’re going to hand your guests over to other guests and make them feel comfortable. You want them to have great conversations and interactions.
“There’s nothing worse than a host choosing their gang and just hanging with them. It’s not a case of, ‘This is my party, I’m going to be the princess.’”
She’s conscious some can be anxious going to parties. “Don’t leave people standing on their own. Mind your guests. Whether it’s 10 people or 100, if you want a really good party, the host needs to keep moving, break into groups, connect people. What I love about Irish people is you’d never feel alone in a crowd. They’ve a knack for being warm.”
Dinner parties
If you’re hosting a dinner party, think carefully about your guests. “People often assume, ‘I could never mix those people together, that would never work.’ If you host a party well, you can put anybody together, but take care with seating: don’t put a quiet, demure person next to someone who doesn’t shut up. Try to be clever and spicy and calculate what will lead to good conversation.”
Place-names are good. “I think people like to know where they’re sitting,” she says. Changing places after courses also works. Definitely separate couples.
“The whole idea of a dinner party is to get people mixing. If you just invite friends who already know each other, people tend to stick in their little groups, which you don’t want.
“A really successful dinner party is when guests text or ring the next day saying, ‘I had such great chats with so and so. Food was delicious,’ but it’s that they really enjoyed themselves. They didn’t want to go home because they were having such a great time.”
The space
“I’d advise avoiding expensive venues, unless you’re going to pick up the tab. You want people to feel looked after. Make sure guests are fed and watered properly, or don’t be surprised if people leave early.”
For gatherings at home, think about how you use space. “Sometimes in huge houses a party never comes together. In a big place, you need to contain people. Don’t spread it out over too many rooms, separating guests. There’s something to be said for being in close proximity at a party, that every time someone turns around, they have to talk to somebody. It doesn’t matter how small your space is, either. You’d be surprised how many guests you can have!”
She’s firm about avoiding stark lighting, to create atmosphere and warmth. Fairy lights are cheery, especially in autumn and winter. For a large, mingling party, move chairs out of the way. For older guests you may need some seating, “but you don’t want half the party sitting down. And don’t race around trying to make the house perfect. Hosts often spend ages ensuring everything looks immaculate and shiny, but you’re better off concentrating on the atmosphere. Get the fire going, candles. Remove the starkness from the environment, so when people step inside it’s into somewhere dazzling. That doesn’t take money.”
Invites
Make your invitation very clear, she advises. Is there food or not; is it nibbles – do I need to eat beforehand? “I’ve seen umpteen parties where people have gone, ‘Oh no, we ate dinner earlier.’ If you’re feeding people supper or dinner, or it’s drinks and canapés, say so in the invitation. Being specific is about taking your guests seriously.” Check dietary requirements.
Drink
“Everybody has a budget. You don’t have to buy the most expensive wine, but don’t buy cheap supermarket bottles. You can get better wines at similar prices in wineshops. I would always stick to the same cultivar, one white and one red. Calculating how much you’ll need is hard in Ireland! Assume half a bottle of wine per person for dinner, maybe more, depending on the crowd. Some will bring a bottle. Beer is popular for parties too.”
Recalling a client’s wisdom in hosting, she says, “Don’t over-pour the wine, and keep the water flowing.” That is, don’t pour wine until the glass is empty, and pour to about 1/3 glass. “For a dinner party, maybe a drink on arrival while people chat, then stick to wine and beer. Keep it simple.”
For larger parties, if hosts want a cocktail bar, “don’t overdo it, or guests won’t drink your nice wine and will get trolleyed – and you don’t want that. Make it one cocktail to start, and feed people!”
Look and learn
Think about parties you’ve enjoyed, and how they worked, she advises.
“As the private chef, I’ve learned from the best hosts. One of my regular clients is a fantastic host, great at bringing guests together at dinner parties, and she has the budget to do it well. She’ll set her table the day before, her flowers done, menu all set, her candles new. At 7.50pm she’ll come down, light the candles and she’s ready to go. If somebody comes early, it does her head in! She loves entertaining and is incredibly generous, with very good wines, a lovely space and a beautiful table,” Rennie says.
“I recall angsting over the food for another client, and she said, ‘Your food is always delicious, but it’s only a third of the success of a dinner party. It’s the company, and everything else that goes with it.’”
She mentions a mutual friend who is “a wonderful host, with a brilliant knack for getting a great mix together, making everyone feel special at large parties with drinks and generous snacks, or afternoon tea on a beautifully set table. She’s generous with her time and attention to detail, and her gatherings are always enjoyable, bringing old friends together for a catch up and sometimes doubling as fundraisers with personal significance. You want to be on her party list!”
Waiters (and DJs)
“Hiring waiters can be great to take stress off the host. They’ll serve food and drink, take care of things, clean up afterwards.” For, say, 60 people, she suggests possibly two waiters, depending on the type of food and the formality. They may cost €25-30/hour, minimum five hours, so €150 each. “If you get professional waiters (rather than roping in teenagers!) you’ll get the efficiency. It might seem like a big additional expense, but you could almost prioritise it over the food. It’s something people generally don’t regret, I find, as it can allow the host to enjoy themselves.”
Also, you need to be a bit of a crowd pleaser musically. A DJ can work out well, because “sometimes people try and hijack your playlist”, and a pro will interpret the mood and taste of dancers.
Food
“Be generous. This varies depending on the event and the circumstances. If, say, people have travelled, or it’s a significant birthday, a few canapés per person will not do. A curry or a hotpot of beef Burgundy, maybe, for a casual do with friends: on the table and serve themselves. People love to be fed, and they will always find the food!”
You can put together food quite easily: platters of cheeses, charcuterie, sundried tomatoes, plus good-quality bread.
“For a Christmas drinks party, invited from 6-8pm, allow four to five canapés per person: you are not feeding people. If people stay on longer, you can razzle up some cheese and bits.”
If you’re using a caterer, full service means you won’t have to worry about any of this. But you’ll need a budget. “I think people can be shocked at the cost of a caterer, but if you’re doing it yourself, and you tally up everything including time and stress, it can be surprising. We’re good at working with clients, tailoring a budget and menu, planning your event.”
Alternatively ordering a collection or drop-off dish, and managing heating and serving yourself, takes stress off and offers flexibility (be aware a caterer’s insurance only covers until handover, and food safety is your responsibility).
Timing, prep, mise en place
“Many home cooks enjoy doing the food themselves. If you’re having a dinner party with a few courses, the crucial thing is early prep. Have your mise en place” literally, putting things in place, “done by 4 or 5pm, so you’re ready to go. Don’t be starting to cook rice or peel spuds then!
“All your prep should be done beforehand: meat seared, sauces made and ready to heat, vegetables blanched, kitchen tidy and clean, plates out, table laid, wine chilled, bar set up, ice in the freezer and lemons cut for drinks, seating plan done. You’re ready before guests arrive. You don’t have curlers in your hair, you’re not running around making them feel they need to help – unless they’re close friends.”
She observe that foodies who enjoy cooking fine food at home sometimes lack technique for a large dinner party. “Get your timings right. Plate up a cold starter at 6pm. The oven goes on half an hour before seating guests. You can have your potatoes done, and your beans blanched and in an emulsion, ready to heat, while your meat is resting and you’re heating the sauce. Sometimes hosts start prep too late, so they’re addled, and by the time their guests arrive, they’re faddling in the kitchen, trying to cook rice at the last minute.”
Above all, you want your guests to feel looked after and to have a lovely time. “You won’t have a really good party if you don’t host it well, with giving and generosity,” says Rennie. This time of year “the radio and papers are full of chefs with tips for how to get everything right, and the perfect roast potatoes. But at the end of the day it doesn’t matter. People get uptight about the perfect meal, and lose sight of the fun, the feast, generosity. It’s all about making a good life within this strange world.”
Tracy Rennie’s dos and don’ts for guests
- Don’t arrive late. If you’re invited at 8 for 8.30pm, don’t arrive on the dot of 8. Being late for a dinner party is a no-no. A client of mine used to proclaim, “Food doesn’t wait for anyone! They’re not here. We’re sitting down.”
- Lovely as they are, don’t bring flowers. They’re awkward as the host or the caterer has to start casting around for a vase. Take a nice gift or chocolates instead, which you can set down.
- Don’t hang with a gang. Be open at a party and avoid being cliquey.
- We love feisty conversation, but do not have a row. If you’ve a grievance with someone at the party, keep it to yourself for tonight.
- Introduce people to new groups. Some people don’t know how to be at a party and can make others feel like outsiders.
- Gauge whether your host needs help. Some people don’t want it, while others will welcome assistance.
- Don’t get drunk. And don’t get off with the host’s partner!
- Have fun. Bring your best self to the party – your good, fun part. See it as a privilege being invited, enjoy it, and help where you can.
Tracy Rennie runs Gourmetchef.ie
