ALL IN THE GAME:A World Cup miscellany

WHEN THE Telegraphasked its website readers to suggest a new slogan for England's World Cup coach – the bus, not Fabio – we feared the worst. The original, 'Playing with Pride and Glory', they reckoned, was less than appropriate, so they asked for one that was a little more "suitable".

The entries rolled in. “Champagne Lifestyle, Lemonade Ability”, “The Gold-Plated Generation”, “Undertalented overpaid tossers”, “Proud history of winning nowt since 1966, “All 4-1 and One for All”, “Coach Potatoes”, “The Muppet Show Tour Bus” and a special one for John Terry – “A Bridge Too Far”. Stuart and Nick even went to the trouble of sending in photos with their new slogans, “Mannschafted” and “Fabio Capello’s Flying Circus”. That went well, then.

Meanwhile, the Sunhas a question for you: "Do you know where any of the flops are holidaying?" So, if you happen to spot an England player while you're sunning yourself in Barbados, Benidorm or Ballycotton, and you fancy earning a few quid, then get in touch – they kindly provide a phone number and email address for you to pass on your "exclusive".

Frank Lampard, as we mentioned yesterday, is in Sardinia with his loved one, the Daily Mailjust one of the papers providing updates on how his holiday is going. "The pair cant stop kissing as they enjoy being together after Frank's brief period in South Africa," they said, a touch pointedly. "After their first public kiss upon arrival on Wednesday, the pair couldn't resist sneaking another one in today."

The Daily Mirroris watching too. "At one stage Frank, 32, leant over to plant a tender kiss on Christine – as she stretched out on a sun lounger. At least that's one thing he has beaten the Germans to this summer." Boom boom.

Head shots: Ferdinand a fair bet for new role

PURE PROPAGANDAYOU HAVE to imagine Rio Ferdinand is privately quite relieved that injury ruled him out of the World Cup, even though, of course, he would never admit to it. His absence through injury gave him more time to share his opinions on the action in South Africa with the media.

The defeat to Germany? "If Lamps's goal had stood it would have been 2-2 and then the game would've turned on its head," he said. "We'd have been at full throttle. I'm sure we'd have gone on to win it."

We have no idea if it was this assessment that inspired Betfair to choose a rather unkind doppelganger for Ferdinand on their website's look-a-likes feature: Joseph Goebbels, Nazi Minister of Propaganda. Gulp.

Own goal: Felipe 'Idiot' Melo gets rousing send off

BRAZIL NUTHAVING SEEN far too many vandalised Wikipedia entries to mention it was with some trepidation we looked up Felipe Melo yesterday – or "Felipe Idiot Melo Loser de Sucker Carvalho" as he had been renamed by the time we dropped in.

Even before the game against the Netherlands had finished, but after his own-goal and sending off, his entry described him as the player who "cost Brasil the 2010 World Cup".

On Twitter, which crashed under the weight of angry Brazilians attempting to tweet on the calamity, Ronaldo (the Brazilian one, not the Portuguese lad) had a message for the player. "Keep your chin up"? "We'll support you ever more"? Nope: "Felipe Melo should not spend his holidays in Brazil." Nice.

The poor fella is, though, well used to abuse. It was only last year he was awarded Italy's Bidone d'Oro (Golden Bin) for being the worst player in Serie A after a less than impressive debut season with Juventus . . . during which he collected 17 yellow and three red cards.

That's a whole heap of mistimed tackles.

Look at Kells: Gaelic memories happy for Alonso

ROYAL XABIIF ANYONE ever asks you "which World Cup quarter-finalist learnt to speak English in Kells, Co Meath?" you should probably tell them they need to get out more. But if you know that the answer is Spain's Xabi Alonso then we salute you.

Alonso spent a month in Kells when he was 16 and has often spoken about his happy memories of that summer, not least watching the locals playing Gaelic football. Where there is some confusion, though, is whether or not he actually joined in.

"I watched the Gaelic football but it was too quick, at that moment I wasn't ready to play," he said in one interview, but in another: "I played Gaelic football with some of the local boys. It was very different, very physical. The players should wear crash helmets." It makes you wonder what might have been. What if he'd met a local girl, fallen in love and opted to stay in Meath? He could now be preparing for a Leinster final against Louth, instead of a World Cup quarter-final against Paraguay. Ah, if only.

Regis puts foot in the peanut butter jar: Donovan a big hit on chat show circuit

REGIS LETS IT RIPAAFTER SCORING three goals for the USA at the World Cup Landon Donovan's presence on planet earth is finally being noted by the American media, despite the fact that he'd already slam-dunked the opposing goaltender on 42 occasions for his country.

On his return from South Africa, then, Donovan has been doing the chat show rounds, even getting an invite to appear on Live with Regis and Kelly, a morning talk show hosted by Regis Philbin (a 78-year-old chap who appears to have had a bit of work done – to the point where his eyes possibly remain open when he's asleep) and Kelly Ripa (she's the she in the partnership).

"He was the American hero of the World Cup," said an excited Regis when introducing Landon, "scoring the winning goal against Algeria to advance the US team in to the round number 16."

Despite playing 16 World Cup rounds Landon looked fresh and was more than happy to answer his hosts' questions, even if Regis, clearly, wouldn't know the difference between soccer and a jar of peanut butter.

Regis: That was your third World Cup, wasn't it?

Landon: Correct.

R: Did you play for another country early on?

L: What?!

Kelly: No, you have to play for your country.

R: For the World Cup, right. But you can play soccer for another country?

L: You can play in another country.

R: In another country?

L: You can't play for another country.

R: Hmm.

It could have been worse, though – Regis could easily have confused Landon with Lonnie Donegan. eg "So Landon, could you give us a verse of Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavour (On The Bedpost Over Night)?"

Baby Bebeto: Mattheus set to follow in father's footsteps

ROCK AND GOALREMEMBER THAT famous World Cup goal celebration, when Bebeto, assisted by Romario and Mazinho, rocked a baby – well, an imaginary one – after scoring for Brazil against the Netherlands in the quarter-finals? His son Mattheus had been born two days earlier – and no, he wasn't named after the former German captain Lothar, apparently.

Well, just to prove you're a whole lot older than you think you are . . . Mattheus will be 16 next week. Yep, the baby-rocking took place at the 1994 World Cup finals.

"I've seen it millions and millions of times, it's always special," said the young fella in an interview this week with Brazilian sports channel Globo Esporte, "my dream is to reciprocate the gesture one day."

He might well get the chance too. A midfielder with Flamengo's youth team, the Rio de Janeiro club where his father made his name in the 1980s, Mattheus is on the Brazilian under-16 team. Bebeto, now 46, retired from the game in 2002 after a short spell in Saudi Arabia with Al-Ittihad. He was fired from his first managerial job, with Rio's America FC, earlier this year and is now working as a pundit with Al-Jazeera at the World Cup.