That felt like quite a lengthy week of mourning, our rugby nation going from anticipating an awesome autumn to fearing it might prove to be abominable. And Virgin Media didn’t exactly lift the mood with that montage of worrisome clips from the New Zealand game, set to a tune that featured a reference to “the broken, the beaten and the damned”.
“How quickly it can turn,” said Shane Horgan, a sentiment echoed by Brian O’Driscoll over on TNT Sports, the BOD man noting “a really strange vibe around town” since that hiccup against the All Blacks. Like it augured mullerings by Argentina, Fiji and Australia and an all-round apocalyptic autumn.
“Was it just a bad night at the office?” Joe Molloy asked his panel back on Virgin Media, “or are we in for a bit of a dip here, something more prolonged?”
Shane, Matt Williams and Rob Kearney weren’t entirely sure, but Matt went a bit apocalyptic on us himself. “If Ireland don’t turn up, they could lose this game. And if they do the momentum that will be taken out of this team will be huge – selections will change, people will be dropped, careers will be finished.”
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Joe looked a little ashen-faced.
And Matt persisted in putting the fear of God in Joe and the rest of us by showing us Argentina’s 2024 stats, among them their 97.9 per cent scrum success. He could have said they had made a hames of 2.1 per cent of them, just to be positive about it, but he was hell-bent on raising our anxiety levels.
He, Rob and Shane also noted, in so many words, that it wasn’t like Argentina had been playing Vatican City, Cameroon or St Kitts and Nevis, they’d enjoyed almighty triumphs against New Zealand, France and Australia. “And they put 67 points past Australia in September!” Thanks Rob. By now you’d have tempted to switch over to Great Coastal Railway Journeys on RTÉ 2.
Shane? Any chance of an upbeat note to send us in to the game? “It’s been said that we’ve had it too good for too long, that we’re not used to Ireland losing. Was that a blip? If it happens in the second game, it’s an issue. If it happens in the third, it’s a crisis.”
That was a no, then.
Predictions. Matt: “Ireland to win, but if they do not turn up they can lose this game.” Rob: “We ... hmm ... will win, but it won’t be comfortable.” Shane: “We should be winning this game, but…”. So, a confident 3-0 for an Irish triumph.
Off we went. Two minutes, 15 seconds in and Argentina scored a try and the apocalypse was nigh. Except the ref, bless him, disallowed it. And by the time the clock turned five minutes and 32 seconds, Ireland had gone over that try line just the twice. All was well with the world.
“This,” bellowed TNT Sports’ Alastair Eykyn, “is the Ireland we know!” The loud slappy sounds beside him were most probably BOD and Stephen Ferris high-fiving each other.
Come half-time, Ireland led 22-9. “We’re feeling happier,” said Joe, “a steadying-of-the-ship performance.” His panel agreed-ish, “Ireland much better than last week, Argentina much worse,” said Shane.
But within 12ish minutes of the restart it was 22-19, and it was all threatening to go a bit pear-shaped. Cometh the 62nd minute, cometh Sam Prendergast, with no pressure at all on the young fella. Joe: “The boy wonder!” Shane: “The anointed one!” BOD: “A bucket load of talent!” Stephen: “He looks like a guy who’s just finished his Leaving Cert!”
And then Cian Healy came on to equal BOD’s 133 cap record, BOD rising in the TNT Sports commentary box to salute his former comrade. “I didn’t want it any way,” he said of the record, Alastair and Stephen chuckling loudly.
Clock ticking down, still just three points in it, nerves a little bit on the shredded side. It’s only the Autumn Series, it’s not like World Cup progression is at stake, but with Matt apocalyptically fearing finished careers, it felt like a touch more than just a game.
That forward pass by Argentina as they edged towards the try line in the 83rd minute? Thank you Jesus. Apocalypse averted. It could be an agreeable autumn yet.
