Anyone who imagines this as a fair golfing world, should consider the exploits of Colin Montgomerie going into the £750,000 Benson and Hedges International Open, which starts this morning. After a four-week break from the game, the big Scot dusted his clubs and proceeded to knock the ball around 15 holes here in nine under par.
That was on Tuesday and his victim happened to be Darren Clarke, one of nine Irishmen competing in this, the first in an extended sequence of lucrative events. And Montgomerie later revealed that these matchplay jousts are to become a part of his preparation for important assignments.
So, did this make Clarke a potential whipping boy for Europe's number one player? "Certainly not," replied Clarke. "In fact I have every intention of putting Monty on the receiving end." The Irishman then claimed that he had recouped his financial losses - "not that much" - from Lee Westwood later in the day.
With the withdrawal yesterday of the holder, Bernhard Langer, who is seriously bothered by what he describes as a pinched nerve in his neck, the spotlight was turned decisively onto Montgomerie. But it would have been there anyway, if only to to remind him, gently, of his failure to break 80 on the final day here for the last two years.
"I still cringe at the memory of five-putting the second green last year in the company of Seve (Ballesteros), my future Ryder Cup captain," said the Scot, whose wife Eimear recently gave birth to a son, Cameron. "But it's a good course and I'd really like to win here, now that we're likely to get decent weather for a change."
The Irish challengers are Christy O'Connor Jnr, Eamonn Darcy, Raymond Burns, Clarke, Paul McGinley, Philip Walton, Padraig Harrington, Ronan Rafferty and Des Smyth. In fact Harrington, who finished fourth last year, has been drawn in the opening two rounds with Montgomerie and another Scot, Andrew Coltart, who won the Qatar Masters in March.
Walton, who was fighting a virus when failing to make the cut in Majorca last week, it anxiously looking towards better times. But any change of fortune will have to be achieved without his regular caddie, Brian MacLauchlan, who is still recovering from a mugging sustained in Barcelona last month.
His temporary replacement is a young Englishman, Mark "Woodie" Sherwood, who has worked with Scandinavians Thomas Bjorn and Per-Ulrik Johansson. Walton is also using the new Srixon ball to which he is contracted for the rest of the season.
When I caught up with him, he was chatting with the erstwhile world snooker champion, Ken Doherty, who was preparing to play in the pre-tournament proam with Russell Claydon. "I'm working harder than ever and have set myself the target of getting back on the Dunhill Cup team, after a break of two years," said the Malahide player.
Though Ernie Els is currently top of the European Order of Merit, the feeling is that second-placed Jose-Maria Olazabal should be favourite to succeed Montgomerie as leader at the end of the season. But the Spaniard, who has been second in his last two tournaments, claimed he was not concerned about such matters.
"Maybe I will start thinking about it when there are five or six tournaments to go," he said. "At the moment, I have enough of a job getting myself comfortable over the ball." Predictably, the club that continues to cause him problems is the driver.
"If you gave me 10 balls, most probably I would draw maybe six or seven, but only two would be good-quality draws," he said. "The others would be just about effective, which does not make me happy. I'm like Lee Trevino. He always fades the ball and was never comfortable drawing it."
The Spaniard was quick to acknowledge, however, that it would not be problem this week, given that there are no obtrusive trees on The Oxfordshire to inhibit the faded drive. "The problem comes when you don't have that room," he added, by way of emphasising the professional's endless search for perfection.
Located off the M40, about an hour's drive from London, The Oxfordshire was designed by the celebrated US architect Rees Jones. It is the course where, in his next tournament after winning the Spanish Open two years ago, Harrington carded an horrendous 13 at the water-dominated, long 17th.
Fresh north-east winds, however, made for a decidedly benign finish in the pro-am yesterday, when Clarke just about reached the green at the 585-yard 17th with a four-iron second shot and reduced the 445-yard 18th to a drive and nine iron. By way of contrast, however, the 452-yard 10th in the opposite direction, was almost out of reach.
It should suit Montgomerie, now that his golf bag has been cleared of his Augusta National yardage book and other bits and pieces from the Masters, his last tournament appearance. Either way, after school runs, baby-watch and looking after his wife, he claims he's rarin' to go - which may be very bad news for those chasing the top prize of £125,000.