IT'S hardly surprising that RTE's coverage of the European Open golf tournament at the K-Club last week was presented in association with Bord Failte. Those entrusted with the task of encouraging plane loads of tourists to visit these shores every year must rub their hands in glee when the European Tour comes to Ireland because with it comes worldwide coverage, for four days, of the country's most beautiful scenery.
Last week Sky Sports, the Golf Channel (in America) and Sports Australia carried pictures from the K-Club around the world - and impressive pictures they were too. The Sky Sports team, fronted by former tennis player Andrew Castle, should receive a special word of thanks from our tourism chiefs after they all but guaranteed an influx of holidaying golfers from Europe over the coming months.
One of the team, Ewen Murray, was particularly taken by the trees on the course, which seemed to impress him as much as Padraig (or pad-ray-ig as he called him) Harrington's superb first round score of 65, but it was the entertainment at the 19th hole that left a lasting impression on the commentator.
Perfectly fit this morning, are you," enquired Ewen's colleague Bruce Critchley at the start of Friday morning's coverage. "I must admit, I have felt better - the hospitality over here is quite sensational," said a groggy Ewen whose early comments on the action were all but drowned out by the sound of Alka Seltzers plopping into water.
Once again RTE and ITV's Champion League coverage oh Wednesday provided some of the week's best action on television. Having inflicted a crushing defeat on the opposition a fortnight ago Eamonn Dunphy and John Giles set about finishing off ITV's Bob Wilson and Terry Venables and the result was as inevitable as a Roy Keane withdrawal from an Irish squad.
When the Champions League is the jewel, the only jewel, in the crown of ITV's football coverage (if you don't count the Fizzy Drinks Cup) they have something of a vested interest in hyping the action to extraordinary degrees. Dunphy and Giles have no such restraints to work within and so, at times, it's hard to believe that Bob and Tel are watching the same match as RTE's very own Beavis and Butthead.
Having lulled Europe into a false sense of security with their performance against Juventus two weeks ago (when they cleverly pretended they weren't very good) Manchester United had their first Champions League points secured by half-time against Rapid Vienna. It was, however, Alex Ferguson's verdict on their lacklustre second half performance that divided the night's expert panels.
Tel agreed with Fergie's view that Rapid's closing down of United's right flank had caused the problem. Dunphy? Well, he didn't quite see it that way. "It's classic manager post rationalisation. . . ah, it's just bullshit really. basically they just went to sleep," said Dunphy.
Meanwhile Tel attributed Cantona's poor second half display to tighter marking, the closing down of space between midfield and attack and. . . well, lots of things. Dunphy? Cantona was a bit of a wagon in the second half," he said of the second Frenchman he believes is knot a great player".
The clash between Rapid Vienna's Ivanov (the incredibly hairy one) and Cantona was billed at the start of the night's coverage as the duel to watch but, in the end, it was Giles' ongoing head to head with the video tape operator that provided all the tension and excitement.
"Hold it there. . . can we just, go back on another angle. . . no. . . just where Keane is on the ball. . . not on that angle, on the other angle. . . can we just go back a little further please. . . hold it there. . . roll it on please, ROLL IT ON PLEASE," said Giles who really wanted to say, `ROLL IT ON PLEASE OR I WILL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY', but he's much too polite for that kind of talk. It is important to remember that that video tape operator is somebody's son or daughter and, whatever they are earning, it just isn't enough.
Sky Sports' Andy Gray used to have a similarly tetchy relationship with his VTO on the Monday night football show but the frustration became all too much for the former Scottish international. Time and time again, every single week, he would ask for Carlton Palmer to be frozen just before he scored an own goal - and not after - but it never happened
Eventually the VTO disappeared, perhaps moving to RTE's Champion League programme, and now Andy works his own machine. Not that he's any better at it: "we're going to have a look now at Ravenelli's goal against Southampton," he said as he put in the tape... and up popped last Tuesday's episode of Eastenders when Cindy was trying to hire someone to kill Ian.
Saturday's Sports Stadium on RTE showed Mayo manager John Maughan doing his own video tape operating" as he studied footage from the first All-Ireland final between his team and Meath. Replays of any major sporting final rarely create the same level of excitement or interest as the original game and RTE's build-up to Sunday's Croke Park reunion of the two counties was also a little on the subdued side - there wasn't even an Up for the Match Again programme.
Much of the week's sporting television made unpleasant viewing for our four-legged friends of the fleecy variety. In the build-up to Monday night's live match on Sky Sports Sam Hammam, chairman of Wimbledon, revealed that he has it written in his players' contracts that before they can collect their bonuses for the season they must visit a Lebanese restaurant in London and eat whatever he orders for them.
And what delicacies do Vinnie and the boys sample at this restaurant? "Oh, you know, sheep's balls, stuffed intestines and raw liver - it's good for team spirit and other things too... ho, ho, ho," chuckled Sam.
Arwyn Organ might have been tempted to remove the intestines from Cap, his sheepdog, after he failed miserably to control his flock in Friday's One Man and his Dog. Cap, Arwyn explained, has woman trouble in that he "isn't suited to flighty Welsh sheep" and, indeed, the woolly Welsh girls gave him the run around for the entire duration of his trial.
