"Are You England in disguise?"

- Manchester United fans (who've given up on supporting England since the country turned against David Beckham) to Leicester City fans on Saturday.

"I believe in miracles, Niall Quinn, You Sexy Thing, I believe in long balls, since you came along,

Niall Quinn, You Sexy Thing, You're always injured Quinny, How did you know - we'd put up with you? Yesterday, you were just a six foot Irishman Now you're putting headers away, scoring every match. I believe in miracles, Niall Quinn, You Sexy Thing."

- Well, one of Sunderland's websites (The Website of Light) claims this ode is sung to Quinny every time he scores (like yesterday, against Ipswich). Forty thousand strappin' lads from the north-east of England singing "you sexy thing" to a 6 ft 4in centre forward? Mmm. We have our doubts.