In this episode I sit down with renowned political commentator Fintan O’Toole, to talk about nappies, breastfeeding and why he has little time for liberal triumphalism.
Do fathers get a raw deal? Are men complicit in the detrimental effect that having children can have on women’s careers? And what exactly is an afterbirth fridge?
Fintan and I discuss all.
We both come from working class backgrounds and I was curious to hear if he ever finds his middle-class experience of fatherhood at odds with his upbringing.
Fintan discusses how his background shaped his parenting style.
“We’re all shaped as parents by our own experience of being a child…we either mimic our own parents or we’re acting against them”, he says, explaining how it all played out in his case.
One of Fintan’s biggest parenting regrets is that he smacked his first child.
“The idea of smacking a child was absolutely the norm. And you would only do it, or at least you told yourself you only did it, when there was a real danger, you know, when a child’s going to run out across the road or you say, ‘don’t do that again’, you know. But interestingly, we never smacked the second child”, he says.
[ Séamas O’Reilly: ‘My little boy is the same age now as I was when my mother died’Opens in new window ]
Fintan also shares what happened when his son declared his desire to be a Protestant.
And tells me why, though he had no issue with his children going to school with children from other faiths, he was set against them attending a Catholic school.
Although Fintan is typically seen as being of a liberal mindset, he describes himself as having “very conservative views in terms of relationships”.
It’s a value he took from his parents. “I actually think marriage is a good thing”, he says before explaining why he believes it’s so important.
Can a man known for having so many opinions manage to rein it in at home? I try to find out.
Plus Fintan discusses choosing family over career, his joy at being a grandfather to two young children, and the challenges of gentle parenting.
You can listen to this episode of Conversations with Parents on the link above, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Presented by Jen Hogan. Produced by Aideen Finnegan.
Brought to you in association with Avonmore Super Milk.
And we’d love to hear from you too. So, if you’d like to get in touch to share your views, thoughts, or suggestions, please email parentspod@irishtimes.com.
