The long and the shorts of it

Sir, – The pair of shorts that still fit after 20 years because there is no elastic in them. The pair that look like Field Marshal Montgomery’s after he ironed them. The pair, the original colour of which is now a mystery, as they’ve been washed so many times. The former rugby shorts, 30 years old now and totally shapeless. The pair that won the worst shorts competition in the Canaries 20 years ago. And finally, the multicoloured fluorescent pair that can be seen for miles. – Yours, etc,

MICHAEL McEVOY,

Killiney,

Co Dublin.