Time to open up

Are Irish men getting better at discussing their emotions?

IRISH ACTOR Cillian Murphy is not usually known for his outspoken comments. In fact, he is notable by virtue of the quiet life he leads off screen, and his absence from tabloid headlines or glitzy showbiz events. So when he gives his views about the Irish male, it’s worth taking account of his comments.

When asked about Irish men in the lead-up to his 2004 film Breakfast on Pluto, Murphy said: "Men do need to talk more about emotions. They tend to hang around with other men too much. If they hung around with women a bit more, it would help things."

Last week, Murphy returned to the subject of the Irish male, during an interview for his current film, Perrier's Bounty. He said Irish men "talk around things. They'd rather go to the pub, and get drunk and talk about football, rather than talk about what they want you to be there for".

So, the question is, what prompts a usually reserved high-profile Irish male to focus attention on the emotional reticence of his fellow Irishmen? And are Irish men really that emotionally backward?

The emotional development of the Irish male has ebbed and flowed over the past half-century. In particular, the past two decades have seen a radical shift in man’s place within society. Depending on who you speak to, Irish men are either still hopelessly inadequate at emotional articulation, or have finally begun to talk about their feelings and insecurities in a frank and open way.

The high incidence of male suicide in Ireland, particularly among the under-30s age group, would seem to suggest an ever-present disconnect for some Irish men and their emotions. And as the pressures associated with the prevailing economic climate continue to resonate, the emotional fragility of those Irish men is further revealed.

Dr Harry Barry, a family doctor and director of voluntary organisation Aware, is concerned at the increasing number of young men coming to his surgery lacking the tools necessary to deal effectively with their emotions.

“I’m not convinced that Irish men, particularly those under 35, have really been able to learn the techniques to cope with their emotions,” he says. “I do believe our society has a big role to play in this. It is not seen as okay for men to break down in public in Ireland and show major emotions or express themselves openly. It’s regarded as a weakness really. Irish men themselves particularly regard it as a weakness.

“With women, when they get into difficulty, they are more likely to open up and look for help, whereas men try to handle it themselves.”

Dr Barry points to the example of Australia, which has experienced problems with male depression and reluctance expressing emotional issues.

A large billboard campaign was funded by government and has had some success changing prevailing attitudes and reducing incidences of male depression and suicide. “We need that type of campaign over here if we are to reach these young men under 35,” says Dr Barry.

“Many men who are currently in a terrible position economically are not able to open up. There does seem to be a particular problem in Ireland as a result of our history and evolutionary background. We are a very young nation and certainly we still seem to suffer from poor self-esteem.”

Senator David Norris, who has long been vocal on issues affecting Irish men, doesn’t quite agree that males here are as undeveloped emotionally as we are led to believe. He says credit should be given to the strides Irish men have made, particularly in adapting to the changing notion of masculinity and displaying a more sensitive side.

“I see young men not ashamed to carry their children in a little sling around their shoulder or across their chest. In my generation you would never see anything like that,” he notes.

When put to him that there is a particular disconnect between Irish men and their emotions, Norris disagrees.

“I don’t think that Irish men are as peculiar emotionally as we think. Perhaps the Latin males are more open to displays of emotion and that kind of stuff, and it may be down to climatic reasons. But I’ve met plenty of uptight French, Italian and Greek men, believe you me, and they may lash around the place and dance and be affectionate, but they can be just as awkward and shy and prudish with their emotions as any Irish fella.”