Brian was 11 when he got his ear pierced, a few years after he'd first asked his parents if he could do so. Now he wants his eyebrow pierced.

Anna's mother was perfectly happy to get her daughter's ears pierced for her first Communion last year, when Anna was eight, but shocked when her 11-year-old son joked that he wanted a pierced ear too.

Ear piercing for young children is an emotive issue in many Irish homes, with parents' attitudes varying widely in line with personal preference, family tradition, class or culture and the child's sex. Many a trendy parent has found herself dithering on the frontline where issues of taste and safety clash.

For many adult women, getting ours ears pierced was a rite of passage around the age of 14. Few of us thought that, years on, we'd have to make a decision when our seven-year-olds pleaded not only to wear three-inch heels and Spicey leopard print shirts, but to get their ears pierced too - much less that our sons might be clamouring. Is seven or eight old enough to know how to take care of a newly pierced ear? Will your 10-year-old son be at risk of hassle?

And perhaps more scary for a lot of us: might pierced ears at eight mean pierced tongues, noses, lips, eyebrows, and other body parts too sensitive to mention, in their teenage years? (Body piercing is certainly a contentious teen/parent issue, but that's another story.) Anna's mother was very matter-of-fact. "It was basically hassle-free. She was good at keeping her ears clean in the weeks after they were pierced, good at doing it herself. She takes a shower most days, and has short hair. She wore little studs while the ears were healing, and then moved to little round sleepers. Her school has no problem with that. A seven-year-old cousin of hers did get infected ears - but I'd say that was due to neglect."

Brian's left ear - fashion dictates that boys wear an earring, or earrings, in the left lobe only - healed quickly too. His father, who sported an earring himself 20 years ago, "when it was risky", talked his son out of getting a pierced ear when he first asked for it at just nine. "But he kept coming back to it, and really wanted it done. Now he wears a little round sleeper in the left ear. He gets no hassle from other boys - I think he feels he's pretty cool, and a little superior." This dad will try to discourage Brian from getting a pierced eyebrow, at least for the moment.

Brian isn't allowed to wear his earring in his all-boys Christian Brothers school. Girls' schools have rules as well, of course: but where once there might have been a complete ban, nowadays, even the strictest convent schools usually allow simple studs or sleepers, drawing the line at rows of earrings dotting the entire rim of the ear.

By the time girls are 13 or 14, one set of pierced earrings is so normal as to hardly excite parents or schools. But how normal is it for their little sisters and brothers?

O'Connor's Jewellers in Dun Laoghaire, Co Dublin, has been piercing ears for over 40 years. Norman O'Connor, its owner, doesn't believe demand for pierced ears for seven- to 10-year-old girls has increased dramatically in recent years. In many families, it's simply a tradition - with demand rising around the time of first Communion. Demand from little boys is less usual.

Like many jewellers, he doesn't advertise his service, but gets steady demand through word of mouth. He has a definite policy about what he will and won't do, and stresses that in the AIDS age, it is very important that piercing be done with completely sterile equipment.

O'Connor won't do babies or children under seven. "At seven, she's old enough to look after her ears, hopefully. But I won't do it without parental consent - you sometimes get children arriving by themselves, or with an older child.["]

He gives the lie to the idea that demand always comes from children. "The child always asks `Will it hurt?' Then I ask `Do you really want this pet?' - and sometimes there'll be a little shake of the head. "Then I say, `Well, let's wait 'til you're older.' And sometimes you'll see the parent giving out to the child as they leave the shop."

Where children do want their ears pierced, O'Connor freezes the lobes first (and gives them a lollipop afterwards). He uses a sterile pack, in which the stud, fired from a small gun, pierces the ear. He ensures parent and child know how to take care of the ear, and how to use the sterile solution to keep it infection free. O'Connor advises getting nine-carat gold-plated surgical steel earrings when the studs are thrown away after six weeks. These cost only £10 or £12, but should ensure infection-free ears. The price of the initial piercing and stud is only £6.50.

He will do no more than two piercings per lobe, and he won't do the cartilage, "because of the danger of cauliflower ear". Nor will he do babies. "I know Spanish babies are practically born with pierced ears; but the ears can be itchy when they're healing, and you can't explain that to a baby."

In theory, if you clean and treat a freshly pierced ear properly, it won't get infected: but those of us with pierced ears know that that's not always the case. An infected ear lobe is very painful, so - some parents might decide - why risk the hassle?

British-based jewellery chain H. Samuels is reviewing its policy of not piercing the ears of under-10s. At present, H Samuels won't pierce the ears of anybody under 18 without written parental consent, and without the apparent consent of the child. Staff get annual refresher courses in ear piercing, and customers must confirm in writing that they've been given after-care advice.

The after-care is crucial: the studs must be twiddled daily in the ear, and cleaned with special solution; parents of under-10s would surely have to supervise this.

The issue of consent makes GP Dr Madeleine McCarthy adamant that children should not get their ears pierced. Children under 12, she says, are too young to give informed consent. "Even over 12, they're still minors - but I just think it's wrong for parents to collude in this decision, even if the child wants it."

Children and teenagers have come to her Sandycove, Co Dublin, clinic, she says.. "I've had nine-year-olds with infected ears - and no, I wouldn't be restrained about telling a parent what I think of allowing this to happen to their child."