Just as Harry Lime did for the Swiss - "In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock" - so Mark Twain did for the cauliflower - "nothing but a cabbage with a college education".
Poor old cauliflower. Not just a b-list vegetable, then, but a swot to boot. A cabbage with pretensions. Of all the good things in the vegetable garden, the cauliflower can seem to provoke little other than derision, best summed up by the old expression "cauliflower ears", for a boxer's battered lugs.
Our restaurants don't seem to get much beyond simply steaming the florets, and maybe mixing them with florets of broccoli, and few places take the trouble to make a good cauliflower cheese these days, though I think it is a fine dish. And if you look hard enough, there are lots of clever and noble culinary ideas which use the cauliflower, and which really exploit its subtle and delicate flavour.
Even served raw, cauliflower presents an interestingly muted taste and a crisp texture. One of my favourite restaurant salads is the delicious mixture of cauliflower, broccoli and peanuts with a mustard dressing, which is one of the great staples of the Avoca Handweavers restaurants at Kilmacanogue and Powerscourt, in County Wicklow.
In a cooked form, that alliance turns up again in Deborah Madison's superlative dish of noodles with cauliflower, broccoli and a mustard butter. Here, you simply mash several tablespoons of butter with shallots, Dijon mustard, balsamic vinegar, chopped garlic and parsley, and cook tiny florets of cauliflower and broccoli in the butter, mixed with some of the cooking water for your noodles. Crisp breadcrumbs and freshly grated Parmesan are scattered over the dish at the end, and it is a pasta dish to die for - the lovely play between the sharp butter, the crunchy vegetables, the soft noodles and the crisp crumbs an altogether perfect match.
It also makes a good loaf, believe it or not. The late Richard Olney used to make a cauliflower loaf where he cooked the florets and then passed them through a food mill to make a rough puree. This was then mixed with a couple of beaten eggs and some cream, poured into a buttered loaf tin, covered with grated Parmesan and baked for 20 minutes. What I like best about this glorious vegetable dish is not just the elegant texture which it acquires, but also the fact that most folk can't guess what it is that they are eating. As a partner for grilled lamb chops, it is simply perfect.
Two new ideas which I have enjoyed cooking and eating come from recent chef's books, and both transform the cauliflower into a puree. The first is from Gordon Ramsay's daftly-titled Passion For Seafood, and Ramsay recommends dropping small spoonfuls of the puree onto plates and nestling pan-fried scallops or small fish fillets on top. It is certainly a dreamy accompaniment for white fish. Ramsay suggests that the truffle oil is optional, but personally I think it is absolutely essential, though you only need a little splash of the stuff.
Cauliflower Puree
Serves 6-8
1 small cauliflower 25 grammes butter 2 tablespoons milk 100 mls single cream a little truffle oil sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
Trim the cauliflower into small florets, leaving only a small amount of stalk on each. Melt the butter in a saucepan. Add the florets and cook gently for about three minutes until lightly softened. Add the milk and cook for another two to three minutes. Season lightly. Pour in the cream and return to a gentle boil. Partially cover the saucepan for another three minutes, or until the florets are softened but not pulpy.
Tip the cauliflower and all the juices into a food processor and blend to a smooth puree, scraping the sides of the container down once or twice. Trickle in the truffle oil to taste, if using. For a wonderfully smooth and glossy texture, let the food processor run for a while. Check the seasoning and serve.
And here is another nifty idea from another cookery book with a daft title. Relax, it's Only Food might put you off ever looking into John Torode's book, but in fact it's a rather thoughtful and stylish collection of ideas, especially this cauliflower dip. Torode serves this on some crostini with a slice of barbecued meat and some salad.
Cauliflower Dip
1/2
medium cauliflower 1 onion 2 chopped garlic cloves Salt Teaspoonful ground cumin Olive oil Black pepper Lemon juice
Put the cauliflower, broken into pieces, into a saucepan with the onion, diced, and the garlic cloves, chopped, a pinch of salt and about 3cm of water at the most. Cover with the lid and cook for about 10 minutes, until the water has evaporated and the cauliflower is soft. While the cauliflower is cooking, toast the teaspoonful of ground cumin in a pan to release its flavour, then add it to the cauliflower with a teaspoonful of olive oil and continue to cook, moving the cauliflower around the pan as it begins to colour and caramelise. Add a few spoonfuls of water a little at a time, scraping the base of the pan to incorporate all the sweet bits of caramelised vegetable. Taste it and the cauliflower will be quite sweet.
Mash the whole thing with a fork, or blitz briefly with a hand blender; add a little more olive oil if you want to loosen the texture a bit. Season with black pepper and a squeeze of lemon juice, and leave to cool.
I must add a cautionary note here: this method must be very carefully watched as it cooks. When I first made Torode's puree. I burnt the living daylights out of the bottom of a saucepan, thanks to taking my eye off it for just a few seconds. So be careful, and if you do burn the saucepan, the best way to clean it is to soak it immediately in washing powder.
TORODE'S use of cumin brings us to the cuisine which most values and understands cooking cauliflower: Indian cookery. This Cauliflower Bhaji is a masterly vegetarian dish, from Chitrita Banerji's book Life and Food in Bengal.
Cauliflower Bhaji
1 medium cauliflower 120 grams green peas 2-3 medium potatoes or 7-8 new potatoes 1 medium onion 3-4 scallions Mustard oil 3-4 dry red chillies Teaspoonful cumin seeds Bay leaves
Chop the cauliflower into very small florets. The hard stem at the bottom has to be cut into tiny pieces. Cook the green peas and drain. Peel the 2-3 medium potatoes or 7-8 new potatoes and cube them small. Keep the onion, finely chopped, and scallions, chopped, separate. Heat some mustard oil (start with two tablespoons, add more later if needed) and fry the potatoes golden brown. "Remove and set aside. In the same oil, throw in a phoron (a mixture of spices) of 34 dry red chillies, 1 teaspoon of whole cumin seeds and 2 bay leaves. After a couple of minutes, add the onions, fry till golden brown and throw in the cauliflowers. Stir once or twice, add a little salt and reduce the heat to medium. Saute gently for three to four minutes, add the peas and fried potatoes and simmer covered over a low heat until the florets are tender.
Uncover, check for salt, adding if needed, turn the heat to high and stir until the vegetables are browned. Just before removing, add the scallions.