YOU'VE probably seen how Will Self, not one of my favourite writers, was fired from his job as celebrity columnist with the Observer after snorting heroin in the toilet of John Major's campaign jet.
Hunter S. Thompson, of course, used to get up to such shenanigans when he was avidly sniffing out fear and loathing on the American campaign circuit, but he had the style for it, and I can't imagine him barefacedly denying such misdemeanours to an accusing editor.
This, in the eyes of Observer editor Will Hutton, was Self's real sin, though his sins against the English language perhaps should be considered more serious. Explaining himself in an interview with his new employer, the Independent on Sunday, he declared: "I didn't derogate from my duties" (what does he think "derogate" means?), "I do abjure to the anti-libertarian tone"
(say again, Will), "When push came to shove, they wanted to draw any taint" and "I confessed up to Will Hutton." Up with which Hutton obviously didn't put.
THREE interesting fiction writers whose first books of stories I appeared in the last year or so are giving a joint reading in The Winding Stair, Ormond Quay, Dublin, on Tuesday, May 13th.
I thought Ciaran Folan's Freak Nights a notably assured and laconic collection, but Angela Bourke's (By Salt Water) and Leo Cullen's (Clocking Ninety on the Road to Cloughjordan) were, in their very different ways, also striking. I don't know if they will be reading from these books or from new work at the Winding Stair, but they should be worth hearing.
IN the meantime, you may care to pop in to the National Book Fair at the Masonic Hall, Molesworth Street, this coming Bank Holiday Monday. It runs from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. and, who knows, you might stumble across that long-out-of-print edition you've been looking for all these years.
GERALDINE O'DEA writes from Bookwise, Kennedy Road, Navan, to tell me of an enterprising competition. "We're a small bookstore," she says, "and every year we run a short story competition, for which entry is free, as our contribution to writers in our county." (That's Meath, in case you're geographically challenged.)
She's thrilled that this year Maeve Binchy has agreed to be the judge, and wishes me to tell you that if you want to be in with a chance of winning the £100 first prize (and of getting the story published in the Meath Chronicle), you should get an entry form from the bookshop. You must be over 18, hitherto unpublished and either come from or live in Meath. After that, it's up to Maeve.
IF you've published a collection of poems in either book or audio cassette form or if you have a collection about to be published, you can enter for the 1997 Paul Hamlyn Foundation Awards to Individual Artists, which this year are being reserved for poets.
Five awards of £15,000 each will be made by a panel of judges that includes Adrian Mitchell, Edwin Morgan and Michele Roberts, and entries are welcome from anywhere on these islands. However, in your application you'll need to explain how you think the award would assist you in your "creative development" - a bit like seeking an Arts Council bursary, apparently.
If you want to enter (and if you're eligible you should - it's not often that poets get the chance to pick up £15,000), application forms are obtainable from Bill Swainson, The Paul Hamlyn Foundation, Sussex House, 12 Upper Mall, London W6 9TA.