How to behave on public transport: Keep your calls short and avoid manspreading

Get on board

You’re understandably keen to get a seat, but there’s no need to barge. At a minimum, let those getting off alight first. If someone looks like they need the seat more than you, be a stand-up person and offer it to them.

About 80 per cent of disabilities are invisible and can hinder someone’s efforts to go to school, work or socialise, says Transport for Ireland. People who have a heart condition, balance issues, arthritis, those who are autistic and others won’t “look disabled”. Just because you don’t see anyone with a visible issue doesn’t mean an accessible seat is yours to take.

Keep it down

So you are having a procedure done? You’ll be under general and they will either cut them out or staple them back up in there? Yes, it probably will be difficult to sit for a while after. But does the whole carriage need to know? No. The answer is no.

Don’t treat a hushed carriage full of commuters to a loud, banal or private call on your mobile, warns etiquette guide Debrett’s. Keep your calls short and to the point, or tell your caller you will call them back, it advises. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. See you later. Bye-ee, bye, bye.

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Not sound

There’s nothing that screams cool more than playing cool music loudly on public transport. You like cool music and you want strangers to know it. Maybe you want to make them like it too? Playing it loudly in a confined space is exactly the way to achieve this. It’s the 15.30pm service to Bray and you are vibing. Why is everyone else so BORING? You’re not going to turn it down, “‘Cause you can’t, you won’t and you don’t stop”. Everyone loves the Beastie Boys. And if they don’t, THEY SHOULD.

Sound off. That goes for those playing Candy Crush too. Make sure your earphones are up to the job and not leeching sound.

Bagged a seat?

Yep, public transport seating is a bit cramped, but it doesn’t mean you can stretch out and put your feet on the seat opposite. God knows what’s on your shoes. Putting your feet on seats dirties them for the rest of us. Stockinged or bare feet are just bleugh. It’s not the place for your bag either, says Transport for Ireland: “It takes up space for that person that just needs a sit-down after a long day.”

If you’ve got a large bag that you can’t stow, tuck it under your own seat. You should be the only one inconvenienced by it.

Spread the love

Manspreading – it’s a thing. The word to describe the act of sitting with legs wide apart on public transport was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2015. Yes, the space is confined, but your legs should not impinge on someone else’s space.

Sacred space

“Public transport” – the clue is in the title. You’ve paid for a ticket to ride in a shared space – this is not your private sittingroom. There’s a reason the trolley cart doesn’t sell egg sandwiches. Take your rubbish with you too.

A brief moment of cosmetic repair, such as a slick of lipstick, is acceptable, says Debrett’s, “but a full make-up routine involving tweezers, eyelash curlers and a manicure should be a private communication between yourself and the mirror”. Your seat mates don’t want to see your ablutions. No spraying perfume either.