FITNESS:Imagine a hen party, paddling around the Irish coastline . . . writes
ANGELA RUTTLEDGE.
HEN PARTIES REMIND me of being back in school in the Holy Faith Convent in Clontarf: the bride is head prefect, the rest of us are Cureheads and nerds, all vying for her attention. And at this particular hen party, the bride is no garden-variety hen. Kayaking for the hen party, she decreed, and, as the head girl must always be obeyed, kayaking we went. Off Reen Pier, which is past the town of Union Hall near Clonakilty in west Cork, with a man named Jim Kennedy who runs Atlantic Sea Kayaking.
After some schoolgirl anxiety about finding a partner for the double kayak, preliminaries from Kennedy's side-kick Pat McCarthy about wearing a life-vest, and a warning not to deck each other with our paddles, we pushed off and headed into the cove to practise.
Blue skies were bestowed upon us. "We've been blessed with the weather," we clucked repeatedly. For a nation whose summer consists of two hot weeks in the run-up to the Leaving Cert, it's not enough to have a day of unexpected sunshine, turning the ocean aquacoloured and sparkly - the Irish have to be imagining it could pass for somewhere else. "You could be anywhere with this weather . . . we could be in the Mediterranean."
Not every day can be so beautiful. "If it wasn't so nice then we'd change the pace a little, more paddling," says Kennedy. "Kayaking is seasonal; the summer is quite busy but you have to be inventive to survive for the rest of the year and look abroad. We have trips to Mexico, Martha's Vineyard and Croatia; they are the main ones. We hire local people to do the tours; no one wants to hear a Paddy talking about Mexico, but I do the instruction. My wife is looking at trips to Spain and is putting together a round-the-world kayaking trip - eight destinations in six weeks. Anyway, the Irish have begun to realise they can't let the weather stop them, so the season is getting longer."
Over the gurgling chatter of cousins and friends catching up, McCarthy pointed out an egret and some herons. A third instructor, longhaired Paul from Cheltenham in England, brought up the rear, a shepherd of hens. All this calm supervision made me feel quite safe in my polyethylene pod and we paddled about happily. Kennedy, who formerly raced kayaks for the Irish national team, explains that "we abide by the Irish Canoe Union standards, and we like to maintain a ratio of one instructor to six clients."
As the instructors encouraged us to stay "nice and relaxed", we moved out of the sheltered cove, past Castleisland in Co Kerry and towards the open sea. Then, we were instructed to make a raft, lining up side by side and holding on to each other's kayak. I think, lovely, Kennedy is going to give us a talk about nature; I'll float here, part of the gang, on top of the unknown depths of all this water, and calmly admire the summer-houses and yachts.
Then Kennedy says: "Okay, there's been some bickering in one of the kayaks, Lynn and Michelle aren't getting on, so Aine," - who was blissfully ignorant of any discord at the other end of the six-boat line-up - "you will swap with Lynn." Realisation dawned on the group: this is a flimsy premise for an open-sea game of trust and balance.
As a 30-year-old who can be brought to tears if her nephews try to get her with the water pistol, for me, this exercise constituted an unnecessary risk to personal safety and a well-executed blow-dry.
But unbelievably, the women stood up, scrambled out of their respective kayaks, met half-way across the raft, gripped each other and waltzed for their lives, before slipping on to safety. But one swap wasn't good enough - Jim was on a roll as he asked each pair to pick the next and we squirmed in our watery seats, like school kids having a spot test.
"Angela - swap with Lisa."
This cannot be happening. Usually the teacher's pet, I snapped at Kennedy: "I bloody have to do it now, don't I?" There is no saying no after the mother-in-law has run the gauntlet. I had myself a little kayak strop. "Wait," I said, "Just hang on one second, whoever I'm swapping with." It was my sister-in-law's future sister-in-law: "I'm not ready, I need to prepare for a second, and I'm wearing my Geox for God's sake."
The test is completed without anyone getting wet. McCarthy's impressed - "usually someone ends up in the water," he says as we paddle home. Clearly, our pre-nuptial bonding experience has worked. See you in a month, ladies.
PADDLE OVER HERE
Jim Kennedy’s website is www.atlanticseakayaking.com. Other kayaking outfits can be found on the website of the Irish Canoe Union, www.canoe.ie. www.darrenskayaks.com sells kayaks and equipment, and offers introductory tuition from Durrus in west Cork.