After buying a house, buying a car is our biggest outlay. So we should take good care of them, right? Up to a point, says Sandra O'Connell: then you need the professionals to lend a very helping hand...
My car is a mess. It contains the rancid residue from countless leaky baby bottles. It has been stained by vomit which, despite vigorous scrubbing, refuses to fully shift. It also stinks of urine, the result of children who believe normal toilet training rules do not apply to four-wheeled vehicles.
My husband's car on the other hand, while not new, still retains that new car smell. This he maintains by virtue of special chemical wipes for the windscreen, sprays for the dashboard, seat covers and regular vacuuming. While he makes a point of getting his car washed and waxed on a regular basis, I have been stopped twice by police on suspicion of having no number plates. They were in fact just covered in mud.
The good news for those of us who have better things to do with our time than keep our car clean is that, when it comes time to trade them in, our laxness will not be penalised. As long, that is, as we get them valeted first.
There is, by all accounts, no car so scruffy that it cannot be redeemed. Given that our car is the second biggest outlay any of us make after our house, this is indeed good news.
According to Mick Mooney of Back to New, a car valeting company based in Dublin's Drury Street, a good valet can add as much as €1,000 to the price you'll get for your car.
"Anyone selling a car is mad not to spend the money on getting it valeted," he says. Prices start at just €7 for a simple wash, and rise to €195 for the full monty. This includes shampooing the carpets, upholstery, roof cloths and boot. For cars like mine, he warns, the price will be higher - peeling 200 Barbie stickers off the door panels is a labour intensive business - but it will still look like new by the time he is finished.
Businessman Conor Meehan knows a lot about valeting, having set up and sold on a number of contract valeting firms in the west of Ireland. The selling of cars is all about perception, he points out, and a well valeted car will do more to hasten a sale for a garage than any amount of tinkering around under the bonnet.
"Every garage, whether a main dealer or a small second-hand dealer, will have a valeter, whether in-house or outsourced," he explains. "Valeting costs the garage around €60 per car and there is no other investment the garage can make in a car, whether it be the installation or a sunroof or the addition of alloy wheels, that will provide such a return on investment. This is because nothing has as dramatic an effect on the car as the valet."
Getting a well-used car back to showroom condition is a complex process. It involves washing the bodywork throughout, including under the wheel arches and behind the wheels where mud can build up and lead to rust, unbeknownst to the driver. The car is then degreased and every speck of tar removed. Paint restorer is applied to remove oxidised paint.
Oxidised paint is responsible for the matt look that creeps up on cars through exposure to wind, rain and sun, he explains. "We've had red cars where the bonnet has become almost white with oxidation. It is actually just dead paint and a special compound is used to restore its brilliance." The car is then waxed and buffed to intensify shine.
"The valeter then shampoos the carpets and upholstery. If there has been a heavy smoker in the car, the valeter can shampoo the roof cloth and give it back that new car smell. Again this has a huge role to play in the buyer's perception. The detail of their work is amazing. They literally take lollipop sticks wrapped with rags and clean out the air vents. Tyres are made to look like new again with rubber cleaner and conditioner."
Even the engine can be given a makeover. "Engine degreaser is applied and left to soak for a few minutes before being power-washed off," he explains.
"The car is then left running for 15 minutes to dry before engine lacquer is applied. By the end, the engine is so spotless it looks as good as it did when it left the factory."
Surprisingly the valeter remains "the lowest part of the food chain in the car business," says Mr Meehan, even though he has the greatest impact on sales of anyone in the garage.
"Presentation is a huge part of sales. The aim of the garage is to get the car off the forecourt as quickly as possible. Valeting speeds up this process enormously. For a very modest outlay, you can get very significant results."
Sellers should invest in a good valet in advance of getting their car appraised, recommends Mick Mooney of Back to New, because the garage will only factor in the valeting cost anyway when giving the seller a quote.
Many of his customers are people who have bought two and three-year old cars "and want to put their own stamp on them". Others have a problem with the fact that their car is pre-owned, he feels.
"People come to us with cars that are already spotless requesting a complete internal shampooing because they can't bear the thought of sitting on the same seats as someone else."
Kevin Flynn is a sales representative with Michael Grant Mitsubishi Motors in Wicklow town. When it comes to trade-ins, he is not remotely worried about the cosmetic state of a car. "We take in all kinds of cars in all sorts of states. All it means is that we get the lads in to clean it up and, when pricing the car for the customer, factor in what it is going to cost us to give it a thorough valeting."
The good news for the slovenly among us is that, once the engine and body-work are good, there is no such thing as a hopeless case. Even ripped upholstery can be mended to look like new. "We can do all sorts," he affirms. So there.