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How to return to the office: Don’t expect to love it from day one

Trepidation is normal and returning to the workplace is an adjustment for everyone


Feel all the feels
Does your boss want you back in the office? If returning gives you the heebie-jeebies, give yourself a break. When for two years the message has been home is safe and the office is not, trepidation is normal.

“Notice your feelings and allow them to exist and flow and try not to judge yourself for how you are feeling,” says psychotherapist Helen Vaughan of Maynooth Counselling and Psychotherapy. “If you are anxious, you are anxious. Don’t judge yourself for feeling anxious – ‘This is ridiculous, I did it for years’. A lot has happened. It has been a collective trauma for all of us. It is scary, and it does feel like an unknown.”

Talk it out
If you are feeling a wobble, you are not alone, says Vaughan. Returning is an adjustment for everyone. "It's no harm to talk to friends, or colleagues if you are comfortable enough to do so," she says.

Hash out your feelings. If your employer offers counselling through an employee assistance programme, use it to meet with a professional to talk through your fears. If you are worried about Covid, learn about your employer’s safety protocols.

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Easy does it
Leaving the office was sudden, so make your return gradual. "The best thing you can do is ease into it, do one day a week to start and get used to your commute again," says Vaughan. Practice wearing work clothes or making your lunch.

“There may be some separation anxiety around leaving the safety of your spare room. There will be a period of adjustment as you get used to that life again.”

Don’t expect to love it from day one, she says. “At first it can be survival mode, don’t expect yourself to thrive straight away.”

Embrace the upside
The office wasn't all bad; remind yourself of the things you liked. "It could be amazing," says Vaughan. "Driving away from your house with no children in the car, having a nice lunch somewhere, maybe getting some more work done." The lotto syndicate, the bants, the conspiratorial eye-rolling with colleagues – there was some good stuff. If you are hybrid working, embrace the best of both worlds.

Get grounded
Crowded public transport, constant chatter, ringing phones – what was normal pre-pandemic may feel like sensory overwhelm. Being back in the office can feel like "being lost in the familiar", says Vaughan. If sitting on the train, at your desk or in a meeting starts to feel like an out of body experience, a grounding exercise can diffuse anxiety and bring calm.

“In that moment, think about five things I can see, four things I can hear, three things I can touch, two things I can smell, one thing I can taste,” says Vaughan. “Or ground yourself in your chair, feel your feet on the ground and just breathe deeply and slowly.”

Keep the good stuff
The pandemic taught us self-care can keep us sane. "Going for a walk, listening to a podcast, playing football – hopefully we got good at figuring out the thing that helps us to unplug from work and feel like ourselves. A walk at lunchtime, not checking emails in the evening – keep the work from home routines that make you feel like a real person, not just a worker."