DOMESTIC READERS will celebrate the nomination of The Crush,directed by Michael Creagh, a Belfast man, in the best-live-action-short category for this year's Oscars. This triumph, following earlier nominations for such Irish shorts as The Doorand Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty, confirms that we are masters of the briefer form. (Seán Ó Faoláin would be proud.) The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, which announced its shortlists in Los Angeles on Tuesday, has, however, other things on its mind than the health of the Irish film industry.

Last year, stung by criticisms that the Oscars rarely honoured mainstream films or foreign-language releases, the academy increased the number of nominations for best picture from five to 10. As the change was sure to propel also-rans into the list – who seriously believed that District 9could win in 2010? – we must assume that the Oscar people were mainly concerned with public relations. Look at us. We like films with giant lizards as much as films about plucky yokels overcoming physical disabilities. We even like African pictures about peasants mislaying their camels.

So what do this year's final 10 say about the academy and the industry? The first thing to note is that, despite frequent gnashing of media teeth about the decline of contemporary cinema, the form seems as healthy as ever. Movies such as The King's Speech, Black Swan, The Social Networkand True Grithave not only received deserved raves: they have also done relatively well at the box office. The time when worthy, flaccid, middlebrow movies such as Out of Africaand Driving Miss Daisydominated the ceremony seems delightfully distant.

Here are the messages the academy would like us to get from the final list.

We are hip and youngYes, The King's Speechtopped the nominations list, with 12 mentions, but, having won every best-film award going, David Fincher's The Social Networkremains the bookies' favourite for the top prize. This film is about something called Facebook, which is a device youths use to distribute photographs of themselves pouring tequila over one another. See how happening we are? (David Fincher is 48.)

But we still like qualityBy "quality" we mean interactions between English people in (for the ladies) flowery hats and (for the gents) tweed suits. It's a shame that The King's Speechfeatures so much swearing – in a "specific speech therapy context", as the British Board of Film Classification quaintly puts it – but anything with Helena Bonham Carter can automatically use the Q-word.

We like films that normal peoplelike For two seasons running we have included the most financially lucrative film of the year in our final 10. Last year it was Avatar. This year it is Toy Story 3.It was a bit of a shame that last year's eventual winner, Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker, made about $4.20 worldwide. But that energetic film's eventual triumph proved – see above – that we are hip and young. (Ms Bigelow is 59.)

We are edgy and dangerousHave you seen Black Swan? Darren Aronofsky's ballet melodrama has lesbian love romps in it, and towards the end the protagonist appears to turn into an actual swan. If David Cronenberg would just release another film we'd promise to include it in the best-picture shortlist. Honest! Then there's Christopher Nolan's Inception. We were inspired to increase nominations from five to 10 by the internet fury after the exclusion of Nolan's The Dark Knightfrom the best-picture race for the 2009 awards. Could you please all be nice to us now?

We favour the little guyLook how nice we are. We nominated Debra Granik's Winter's Bone. The film cost nothing to make, and it concerns a scruffy woman stomping around the mud in some part of the world that is neither New York nor Los Angeles. Heck, it isn't even set in Chicago. As we understand it, the Ozarks, where the action plays out, is some sort of hillbilly theme park in "America".

We like alternative lifestyles and female directorsWe're so at ease with same-sex parents we barely noticed that The Kids Are All Righthas to do with two mummies. Indeed, it hurts us to mention the fact now, but, if you could note our munificence, then we really would be most grateful. On the subject of open-mindedness, please note that somebody without a Y chromosome – Lisa Cholodenko – directed this diverting comedy-drama. Isn't Debra Granik a woman too? Heck, females directed a full 20 per cent of the best-picture nominees. Take that, Andy Gray.

We still adore the old genresYou thought the western was dead? Think again, my friend. By nominating the Coen brothers' True Gritwe demonstrate that we still have a connection with the creaky forms that helped build this industry. Mind you, it might trigger more of that internet anger if we award the big prize to a remake. We'll get back to you on that.

We like foreign-language filmsAh, yes, well. It is true that, despite our best intentions, none of these films is technically in a language other than English. A few of us voted for Alejandro González Iñárritu's Biutiful– after all, Mexico almost counts as the US – but, in the end, we, as usual, ran screaming from subtitles. That said, those ordinary Americans in Winter's Bonedon't speak a language you hear often in the browner bars of Sunset Boulevard. And what's that coming out of Bonham Carter's mouth in The King's Speech? "Mnaw! Mnaw! Mnaw!" Sounds pretty foreign to us.

All facetiousness aside, the academy hasn't done a bad job this year. The 10 best-picture nominees – the two I haven't mentioned are David O Russell's The Fighterand Danny Boyle's 127 Hours– are all worth crossing the road to see, and if you poke around the less-publicised categories you will find some welcome surprises. When it was announced that Banksy, the annoyingly ubiquitous graffiti artist, was making a film, who imagined it would have a chance with this electorate? The excellent Exit Through the Gift Shopis, indeed, shortlisted in the best-feature-documentary race. The best-foreign-language-picture contest usually tends towards the safe and the cosy, but, somehow or other, Giorgos Lanthimos's wonderfully creepy Dogtoothended up in the final five. Pat yourself on the back, academy. You acquitted yourselves pretty well.