BusinessAnalysis

It’s had a €1.4bn Olympic clean-up, but the Seine is still too polluted to swim in

Planet Business: ‘Virtual burnout’, the AI music generators being sued by the industry and celebrities standing at the UK general election

Nice day for a swim? Tourists pass by boat on the Seine river in Paris, France, a few weeks before the Olympic Games. Photograph: Laure Boyer/Hans Lucas via AFP

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Laura Slattery
Sat Jun 29 2024 - 06:15

Image of the week: Seine plan?

The problem with rivers is that they have a mind of their own. At least, that’s the case with the Seine in Paris, where a recent spell of rain made its current and water level too strong and high to go ahead on Monday with one of the rehearsals for the Olympic Games opening ceremony. This does, inevitably, raise the question: is it a good idea to locate your opening ceremony on water in the first place?

Under the existing plan, the July 26th ceremony will see Olympians parade down the river in a procession of about 90 barges, with spectators viewing – and presumably waving – from the banks. The intended 6km route presents something of a security challenge even before the variables of water are considered.

But while organisers have the option of a land-based Plan B for the opening ceremony, that luxury is not open to those overseeing the open-water swimming event and the swimming leg of the triathlon, which are both still scheduled to take place in the Seine notwithstanding the fact that French authorities are as yet unable to guarantee that the water is swimmable.

Despite a spend of €1.4 billion by Paris to clean up the river over the last decade by improving the sewerage system and building new water treatment facilities, pollution in the Seine remains above the safety level permitted for Olympic and Paralympic swimming as a result of heavy rain. A dry spell over the next few weeks could help. If it doesn’t, well, that could mean the open-water swimming is off. Anyone for a duathlon?

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In numbers: Could’ve been an email

52%

Irish professionals who think virtual meetings hamper their individual productivity, according to a poll by recruiters Robert Walters, which called it “virtual burnout”.

27%

Percentage who say they can have five or more virtual meetings a day. Country manager Suzanne Feeney said: “We’re still seeing Teams or Zoom meetings being scheduled for things that could be more efficiently and effectively handled through a brief message or email.”

37%

Percentage who told the recruitment company’s survey that their work day was “regularly” interrupted by virtual calls. As for whether they were any use, 45 per cent said it depended on the meeting, though 12 per cent ruled them “not very productive at all”.

Getting to know: Udio and Suno

Uncharted Labs, developers of an AI called Udio, and another company called Suno are two digital music generation businesses that use copyrighted sounds and songs to train the artificial intelligence that underpins their products. Their software allows users to “create” songs almost instantly by submitting a text command. This has proven effective enough to frustrate actual purveyors of music, including major record labels Universal, Sony and Warner, into suing the two companies in US courts for using their intellectual property without permission.

Udio – co-founded by Cork’s Conor Durkan – likens its software training methods to students listening to music and studying scores before composing their own and says “the basic building blocks of musical expression” are owned by no one. Suno says its “transformative” technology is designed “to generate completely new outputs”. What a time. But, hey, have you heard this brilliant new output? I really love what the chorus has done with the basic building blocks of musical expression.

The list: UK election celebrities

The UK general election takes place next Thursday, with an exit poll due to be announced once voting closes at 10pm and the first constituency results expected shortly after 11pm. But, as well as the certain intrigue in seeing which high-profile politicians lose their seat, there’s a smattering of celebrity candidates to potentially enliven proceedings overnight. Who are they?

1. Dave Rowntree: As the drummer in Blur, Rowntree would have featured on many a fan’s bedroom wall in the 1990s. Exactly a year ago, he was preparing to play Wembley Stadium as part of the Blur reunion. A varied career over the decades has led him to stand for Labour in Conservative-held Mid Sussex.

2. Tom Gray: Another musician-turned-politician, Gomez co-founder turned artists’ financial rights campaigner Tom Gray, was chosen (over comedian and actor Eddie Izzard) to represent Labour in the winnable seat of Brighton Pavilion.

3. Josh Tapper: Former Gogglebox star turned civil servant Josh Tapper is Labour’s candidate in Hertsmere in Hertfordshire, where he is going up against former deputy prime minister Oliver Dowden.

4. James Cracknell: The former rower, a double Olympic gold medallist, will be hoping to cross the finishing line first for the Conservatives in Colchester, though the seat is predicted to swing to Labour.

5. Count Binface: Not quite a celebrity, of course, but a veteran politician at this stage, Binface will be contesting Rishi Sunak’s seat in Richmond and Northallerton in North Yorkshire, guaranteeing television time. His manifesto includes a pledge “to build at least one affordable house”.

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