Well, that was weird, watching Brian O’Driscoll pottering around the RDS in his civvies yesterday, expressing wonder at all the things he never knew were there. Like: “I’m finding out new bits to the RDS that I didn’t know existed – food is available behind the grandstand!” Bless him.
All those years in the dressing-rooms sucking oranges when delectable mustardy oniony hot dogs were on sale just around the corner.
"As a punter, it's strange," he told BT Sport's Sarra Elgan Easterby of his feelings about being a visitor to, and not a competitor in, the old stadium, which Craig Doyle told his viewers was host to an elitist horse show during the summer. Unsaid, but left hanging in the air, was the aroma of dung.
Lawrence Dallaglio and Austin Healy winced, perhaps trying to recall if they'd ever rucked and mauled on that pitch and come up brown, but Craig chirpily moved on, handing over to Sarra at the RDS, where, he told us, she was accompanied by "an Irish stallion and an old nag".
BOD, need it be said, was the stallion, poor old Ben Kay having to content himself with the nag tag, but he knew his place, the swooning crowds gathering around The Legend, keen as mustard, making him feel like the bun around the hot dog. Necessary, but just not the star attraction.
Craig then told us Dublin had been abuzz for weeks about this European Champions Cup clash with Wasps, a claim that might not have been entirely accurate, unless you drink in Donnybrook, but he was well up for it, pining over images of the Ha'penny Bridge, even though he'd only left Dublin that morning.
Match time and our talking host Alastair Eykyn welcomed Brian to his first appearance in the commentary box, the latter's response not audible because his microphone wasn't working. Alastair had the look of a man who wanted to embed his head in his mic, but they sorted out it out soon enough, and all was grand.
And, just to abridge events, Leinster won.
How did BOD do? No clue, really, he may as well have been talking nuclear physics, although Austin noted, somewhat dryly, “it’s nice to see his impartiality has kicked in already in the commentary box”. Maybe it was him joining in on those “Lun-stur” cries after each of their tries (kidding – ish), but no matter, Leinster won and BOD had a hotdog, so all was good with the world.
As it was on Saturday.
"Are we going to see one of those epic drop-goal winning efforts from Munster in the final minute of this game?" asked Sky's Mark Robson.
As the young people say: “Duh.”
There it was, in a here we go again kind of way.
“And it’s Munster glory again,” he cried as Ian ‘Are you Ronan in disguise?’ Keatley’s last-minute winning drop goal sailed over the bar, the John O’Shea of rugbydom. “You watch, you admire, you respect,” Robson purred. But did you hear that wacky “aaaaaaarrrrrgh” sound he made as the ball reached its target? Odd. You could only worry. And you were right to, too.
"Anthony Foley just ran past the commentary position and punched me in the kidneys in celebration," he told us, before, presumably, being airlifted from the AJ Bell Stadium.
Anthony Foley, like. Not Jedward.
Speaking of whom. They shared an RTÉ green room with Jim McGuinness on Saturday night, and what you wouldn't have paid to view that.
"Commit, focus, believe, achieve," Jim would have told them, and the way they performed their new 45 (shush), "Ferocious", you can only assume they listened. Now that he's free, apart from his Celtic duties, they should appoint Jim as their manager. The training would be tough, they might prefer to be less defensive, but, ultimately, success would be ensured in a 'One Direction, Who Are Ya?' kind of way.
A fly-on-the-wall series you’d remortgage your home to view.
Twice.
