Alisson thunder land: keeper’s heading sends pooch into hiding

With all that thunderstorm activity the past couple of days, it was a fretful weekend for those with pooches who lose their tiny minds on hearing piercing noises of the very sudden and deafening kind. It was, then, with tremendous relief that the threat passed without one ever having hit, no joy greater than being able to tell your pooch it can relax – there’ll be no bad, scary, loud sounds.

And then Jamie Carragher reacted to Allison scoring and not since a burning toad-in-the-hole in the oven set off the smoke alarm has the pooch scarpered so speedily under the nearest bed. He’s still under there and may never come out. And the trust is permanently broken. Thanks, Jamie.

It had already been a very fabulous sporting weekend, but even for those of us who come out in a rash at the mere hint of Liverpool FC happiness, this was, while catastrophic in many ways, a moment of exceptional loveliness for a fella who’s been through the mill the last year.

“Alisson Wonderland,” read the Sky caption during the replays of the goalie’s splendiferous late, late headed goal that gave Liverpool a win over West Brom and kept their Champions League-qualifying hopes afloat. This is a guess – if we received some bitcoin for every outlet that will use “Alisson Wonderland” as their headline for the game, we’ll leave Elon Musk looking hard up.

Liverpool goalkeeper Alisson scores last-minute winner at West Brom

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If Alisson’s post-match interview didn’t leave you choked up, then your heart is made of aluminium. “I’m sure that he is with God at his side and he is celebrating,” he said of his dad, who drowned last year in his native Brazil.

Gary Lineker was no less emotional on Saturday when Leicester, of all people, won the FA Cup, having lost all four of their previous appearances. “And my dad went to all four finals; I hope he’s watching somewhere,” he said.

Sport and its accompanying shenanigans would often suck the joy out of life, but now and again, like with Alisson and Lineker, you’re reminded of the beauty of its place in your journey. Even if you usually had to watch an FA Cup final in a separate room from your da because his constant cries of “useless!” at the players on the team you and he supported would leave you wanting to garrote him.

Human support

The other beauty, of course, about the FA Cup final, its magic temporarily restored, were the loud sounds emanating from the stands, actual real human supporters allowed attend the game. The roar when the teams came out was akin to thunder, the shock of it almost enough to have you scarpering under a bed, the boos that rang out when the players took a knee a reminder of what we’ve been, eh, missing this last year.

The BBC ended their coverage with a celebratory message from Leicester’s own Engelbert Humperdinck and a montage soundtracked by his tune This Moment in Time. Possibly – and we haven’t checked the records yet – the first time in broadcasting history that Engelbert Humperdinck has played such a role in such a momentous sporting occasion.

Chelsea, then, were the day’s startled earwigs, along with Galway after their trip to Tralee. Eir Sport’s Shane Dawson channelled his inner Pat Gilroy, of the 2009 variety, to describe the Galway side mullered by Kerry as such. David Clifford was their chief tormentor. “A decent start, I suppose,” he told Mike Finnerty after Kerry won by 22 points, with Clifford scoring a hat-trick. It brought a whole new meaning to “decent”, but sure, you know Kerry.

Clifford’s third goal, Dawson suggested, wouldn’t have looked out of place at Wembley, his dummy sending Galway goalie Bernard Power in the direction of Killarney before Clifford tucked the ball in to the bottom right corner. “I played a bit of soccer in my young days but I was a centre-half, so I don’t know where that came from,” he told Mike, offending every centre-half on the planet.

Anyway, settling down as we speak to watch the Champions League final, and if Emma Hayes isn’t the winning manager, even if Chelsea are her charges, then the wails of despair will send the pooch back under the bed. They’re only 4-0 down to Barcelona after 35 minutes, her side startled earwigs. So, she may want to join him.