TV View: Jurgen Klopp goes horticultural on us as Liverpool finally slip up

Put it this way, the last time Liverpool lost a game of football, three days after Christmas, the planet was in the grip of a pandemic.

Remember it?

By now, a socially undistanced Anfield barely remembers what it’s like to lose.

(“Well for you,” their poor battered blue neighbours could only say as they limped home from London after their Spursy pulverising on Monday).

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But Jürgen Klopp attempted to point out to BT Sport that any feelings of invincibility from a run of that magnitude – 12 wins on the bounce in all competitions – were misplaced, him going all horticultural on us.

“Confidence is like a little flower,” he said, “somebody steps on it and you lose it in a second, it takes longer to get it back”.

RTÉ paid no heed to that caution, though, when they chose DJ Khaled’s All I Do Is Win as the soundtrack to the opening of their coverage of the second leg of the Champions League meeting of Liverpool (2) v Inter Milan (0).

As Wikipedia – ever grateful – revealed, the tune features Ludacris, Rick Ross, Snoop Dogg and T-Pain, and includes the line "my hands go up and down, like strippers' booties go", RTÉ opting not to air that particular bit, not least because of the day that was in it.

All hail Jake Humphrey: "Happy International Women's Day!"

And then he surrounded Rio Ferdinand with Fara Williams – England’s most capped player with just the 172 appearances for her country – and Rachel Brown-Finnis – who only managed 82 caps – Rio feeling minimised, him only having worn three lions on his chest 81 times.

There followed a chat about the state of women's football, which included Rachel talking to Jordan Henderson, multiple heads no doubt exploding when Jordan – who habitually comes across as the finest of fellas – explained that his ownership of two daughters made him more appreciative of the efforts to nudge women's football to further heights.

Indignant tweets

This declaration possibly heralded a gazillion indignant tweets along the lines of, “WHY DOES HE NEED DAUGHTERS TO UNDERSTAND THE STRUGGLE?”, but it’s always best to avert your gaze at these times lest you spot outrage over people being, you know, human.

Back on RTÉ, Liam Brady was being a bit ageist about the Inter line-up – "they're getting on in years" – and wasn't exactly swooning about one of their wing backs. "Dumfries, Dutch, up and down."

Team news. How rubbish must it be this weather to be an English right back?

Reece James, Kieran Trippier, Kyle Walker and . . . Trent Alexander-Arnold, the fella whose right foot is a wand. And was once left out of an England squad by Gareth Southgate which should ensure that Southgate has as much chance of a knighthood as Piers Morgan.

Inter, meanwhile, opted to leave Edin Dzeko on the bench, despite being in urgent need of goals. Funny old game.

Auld lads

Off we went, not a great deal happening in the first half, the RTÉ panel reckoning come the break that Dzeko’s introduction was urgently required.

Although, Liam pointed out, maintaining his anti-over-30s-theme, “he’s of a certain age”.

“Yeah, 36 on St Patrick’s Day,” said Darragh Maloney.

“And Sanchez is 33, 34,” said Liam, by now him wanting half of Inter’s line-up put in to a home for the bewildered.

The auld lads, though, pulled a goal back in the second half, but their hopes of completing a comeback were somewhat hindered when Sanchez had a red card waved in his face.

First his spell with Manchester United, now this, as if the Kop couldn’t love him any more.

Upshot? Liverpool lost, but won.

Inter stepped on their flower, but no matter, it’s still blooming.

Still on course for The Quadruple. Beginning to think that no one can step on it.