Liverpool 6-0 Manchester City?
No, this is not a prediction; yes, it did happen. No, it’s not ancient football history; yes, it is a Premier League result.
Late October 1995, Ian Rush and Robbie Fowler both scored twice against City’s German goalkeeper Eike Immel. Jamie Redknapp and Neil Ruddock got the others. It was 2-0 after five minutes.
But it was not a shock.
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City had arrived at Anfield 20th of 20 clubs with two points from 11 matches and had not scored in their previous five. Anfield was not anticipating a blue blitz.
Four days earlier City had made the same journey in the League Cup and lost 4-0. Now Liverpool were 4-0 up after 53 minutes and 6-0 ahead after 64. It was 10-0 to Liverpool over four days if you want to look at it a certain way.
City fans were famous for their self-deprecation then – “typical, sardonic, Mancunian humour” – as Peter Ball put it in a match report beneath the headline “Classy Liverpool leave City down and out”. Ball reported exaggerated celebrations when a first City corner was won.
In Anfield’s away dugout, Alan Ball squirmed. A World Cup winner with England, a player of energy, style and commitment, he was observing a City side on the slide. Across town Manchester United were on the up and determined to stay there. Fans sang about Alan Ball to the tune of Wonderwall and everybody laughed.
City were bound for relegation and not only did it happen – farcically – it happened in the company of Liverpool.
On the 1995-96 season’s last afternoon, as United clinched the title at Middlesbrough, City were supposedly readying themselves to stay up. Ball said they were prepared.
Liverpool were the visitors to Maine Road. All City had to do was better the result of either Coventry or Southampton and they were safe.
Then Steve Lomas scored an own goal.
Rush scored another and at half-time City were 2-0 behind. Coventry and Southampton, meanwhile, were both drawing 0-0. If they had the “As It Stands” table then, City were down.
They scrambled back. Uwe Rosler scored a penalty, Kit Symons equalised. Coventry and Southampton were still drawing. So City needed a winner or one of the other two to concede. There were 12 minutes of the season remaining.
Up adjacent to the directors’ box, someone was listening to a transistor radio, as you did then, and said Southampton were now losing. City’s owner, former player and England colleague of Alan Ball, Francis Lee, was informed. Gladly Lee passed the message on.
But the message was wrong.
When Lee heard this minutes later, as Tim Rich details in his book on City in the 1990s, Caught Beneath the Landslide, “his face absolutely fell”.
A new message was sent down rapidly and it was Niall Quinn, who had been substituted, relaying that City needed to score when Ball had just instructed them to play keep-ball in the corner.
But City did not score. Neither Coventry nor Southampton lost.
City were relegated, as they had been twice in the 1980s, and were belittled by joyful Reds returning from Teesside with another Premier League trophy.
In 1997-98 City fell again, scarcely believably, into the old third division. Manchester City had finished below Crewe Alexandra, Tranmere Rovers and Port Vale.
If you’re a Blue, it really doesn’t get much worse than May 1996 to May 1998. So when the headlines last weekend and for days after focused on “just what is going wrong at Manchester City?” and how they are the first English champions since Chelsea in 1956 to lose five games in a row, it seemed pertinent to point out that things have been pretty bad before and not that long ago.
City fans of a certain generation remember this and if you ever see those who travel to support the club you’ll note plenty of that certain generation. It gives them a sense of perspective and an appreciation of surrealism. They sing, after all, “We’re Not Really Here”.
Last Sunday’s 4-0 home defeat by this very Spursy version of Tottenham was worthy of concern, particularly coming after the late loss at Brighton in the game before the international break. But as matchday regulars said, City had their chances and had decent spells at Brighton too. They took the lead at Sporting Lisbon in the Champions League, before losing 4-1.
But then came Tuesday night against Feyenoord and a 3-0 lead with 16 minutes to go became a 3-3 draw. It isn’t October 1995 any more. Ceci n’est pas une pipe.
It was the oddest result in Abu Dhabi-City era, but when we were shown what it had done literally to Pep Guardiola’s face, any amusement at witnessing a powerhouse fumble was replaced by concern. Guardiola looked distressed.
Suddenly this personal situation added to the facts trotted out on Monday: the injuries to Rodri and Mateo Kovacic, the 34-year-old legs of Kyle Walker and Ilkay Gundogan, the Premier League goals – one – scored by Phil Foden, Bernardo Silva Jérémy Doku, Jack Grealish and Savinho combined.
There are the goals conceded – 17 – which is the same number as second-bottom Crystal Palace and, ominously, double the number Liverpool have allowed.
The mockery City used to attract in the days when the club was an inflatable banana republic was on the way back, but then people saw Guardiola’s face and some of that faded. It can return, of course; football is merciless.
Coincidence brings on Sunday another trip to Anfield, where Arne Slot has replaced Jürgen Klopp quietly, efficiently, purposefully.
Anfield does not seem to be the place Man City will find a sudden rejuvenation. Since that 6-0 defeat under Ball, City have been to the stadium 23 times in the league and have won only twice. They’ve lost 14. Their last Anfield win was in 2021 when a forward line of Foden, Riyad Mahrez and Raheem Sterling helped City score four. Crucially, Rodri played.
But Rodri is unavailable and you could fit a Cavern Club in the hole he leaves. A Liverpool victory would take them 11 points clear of City who, despite everything, are second.
Guardiola might just remind his players of this, and that five weeks ago when Southampton were beaten 1-0, City were top. Few were declaring City past it then.
But Bournemouth, Sporting, Brighton, Tottenham and Feyenoord have all happened since.
We’re not in the sky-blue surrealism of the 1990s, when City could lose 6-0 and, needing to win, head for the corner flag. As a clock melts. And Guardiola did look more himself on Friday.
Yet the days are strange when it can be said: Ceci n’est pas une Pep.