Soccer

EuroZone: Trying to put outrageous words in Gareth Southgate’s mouth

How Italy’s manager made a bad meal of the campaign, and what Kai Havertz likes to eat

An England fan wearing a mask of Gareth Southgate cheers during a gathering in Gelsenkirchen before England's match against Slovakia on Sunday. Photograph: Ina Fassbender/AFP via Getty Images

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Mary Hannigan
Sun Jun 30 2024 - 16:18

The BBC had a story on Sunday about AI-generated fake interviews with Gareth Southgate that were doing the rounds on social media in which he is heard “making crude remarks about his players”.

“As we do with all harmful content, we will take steps to have these offensive videos removed,” said the English FA in response to the BBC’s query on the matter.

Having had a look at a couple of them, it’s exceedingly hard to imagine anyone believing they are real. Like the one where Southgate is asked why he didn’t select a certain Manchester United player for Euro 2024. “Why the **** would I pick Marcus Rashford,” ‘he’ replies. “This squad is picked on merit, not on who has fed the most children. And Marcus has been pretty ****ing awful this season.”

The first reply under the video: “Did he actually say that?” And the next: “He’s spot on.” Uh oh.

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England’s relatively poor striker

If Brentford’s Ivan Toney happens upon the London Loves Business (LLB) website any day soon, you’d imagine he’ll be pushing even harder for a transfer once he gets home from Euro 2024. That’s because LLB reveals that he’s the lowest paid member of the England squad, the poor lad having to get by on “just over £1 million per year” – and he pays £477,014 of that in tax.

Harry Kane, predictably enough, is the highest paid of the current squad, earning £21 million gross a year at Bayern Munich, followed by Jude Bellingham, John Stones, Declan Rice and Phil Foden. Combined, the squad “nets £183.3 million a year and pays £85.4 million to the taxman”.

“It’s hard to know what weighs more for the squad, the expectations of the nation on their shoulders or their heavy tax contributions.” Probably a draw.

Quote of the day

“Were Switzerland a Ferrari tonight and Italy a Fiat Panda?” – The question put to Luciano Spalletti on Saturday by a fearless reporter. “You’re a wonderful exponent of sarcasm,” the Italian gaffer replied.

Number of the day: 75

The number of seconds between Denmark’s Joachim Andersen having a goal ruled out and then giving away a penalty against Germany. Excruciating.

Word of mouth

“You can only make carbonara if you have eggs, guanciale and pecorino. If you only have garlic and a little olive oil, you need to change recipes. But no, he didn’t understand that.” – La Repubblica suggesting that Luciano Spalletti tried to make a dish without having the required ingredients.

“De Bruyne is excellent, but he hasn’t played a single good European or World Cup yet. I think Doku is weak, and the uncertainty about his future weighs on Romelu Lukaku. In addition, the Belgian defence is not even sufficient for a mid-table team in the Premier League.” – Apart from that, Emmanuel Petit reckons Belgium are in mighty shape.

“Finally, a good breakfast for a month.” – Kai Havertz enjoying a break from his local greasy spoon in London.

“It is one of the worst refereeing performances I have seen in my career. That he judged that as a handball is completely brain-dead. He can make all the mistakes he wants and we must not say anything.” – Denmark’s Joachim Andersen. Fine incoming? Probably.

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