You know the way you’d be horrified about the sundry scams doing the rounds these days, but sometimes they’re so sneaky and clever you can’t but grudgingly admire the ingenuity of the fraudsters behind them? The one related to Xabi Alonso last week does not fall in to that category.
To be honest, it had the sounds of a yarn from the first day of April, but Thailand’s Central Investigation Bureau certainly took it seriously and issued a warning about it. A chancer on Instagram had, apparently, set up an account in Alonso’s name and posted this message - in Thai: “I am Xabi Alonso, I will be in charge of Liverpool next season, but I am short of money for my flights to Liverpool”. So, ‘he’ asked for donations of 300 baht (€7.83) to help pay for the trip.
Now, before you rush in with your contribution bear in mind that you can get a bus from Leverkusen, where Alonso is based, to the airport in Cologne for €5. Then you can get a one-way flight in May, after the end of the Bundesliga season, to Manchester for €24.37, and then a bus to Liverpool for €4. So, all he needs is less than €34. And also, according to one of those ‘celebrity net worth’ website, Alonso has €18.5m in his coffers. But if you still want to donate, fire ahead.
Word of Mouth
“Schar: I got two, babe!”
The mightiest of match report headlines after Fabian Schar scored twice for Newcastle against Aston Villa last week. Hats off, nufc.com.****
More Word of Mouth
“I was insulted by a lady on social media last week because I was harsh on Chelsea. How can you be nice right now? What can you find about my former club to believe in something good? It’s awful! It’s appalling! Everything is wrong! Nothing is good!”
Apart from that, Frank Leboeuf is quite pleased with how Chelsea’s season is going.
“The only disappointing one for us – and it was a good opportunity for us . . . but the club didn’t feel it was right and he ended up going elsewhere. He went to Ferrari instead.”
Ange Postecoglou on failing to sign Lewis Hamilton from Mercedes during the transfer window.
“Of course he needs to improve. He has amazing quality and potential, but it’s a team game, it’s not tennis.”
Mauricio Pochettino on why, eh, Chelsea ace Mykhailo Mudryk is spending more time on the bench than the pitch this weather.
By the Numbers: 117
That’s how many million Euros English Premier League clubs spent in the transfer window, down from €938m the year before. Hard times.
Jordan Henderson’s debut panned
After a delay due to work permit issues, Jordan Henderson finally made his debut for Ajax on Saturday in their 1-1 draw with PSV Eindhoven, England manager Gareth Southgate among the crowd at the Johan Cruyff Arena.
How did he do? Well, Ajax coach John van’t Schip was happy enough. “It was his first match in a while, if you take all that into account, he played a good game,” he said. Telegraaf columnist Valentijn Driessen? Not so much.
“Against PSV, he had to be exposed with the buttocks,” he wrote, although something could possibly have been lost in the translation there. “Even before he took a step on the field, he seemed sent by God according to the Ajax family, but in one fell swoop, he pierced the balloon of expectations and put an end to the Henderson hype himself.”
“What a cold shower he gave everyone in the stadium. At half-time it was even joked that it would be nice if the Englishman made his debut in the second half. Invisible, perfunctory, passes no more than five metres, backwards instead of forwards, trudging behind PSV players. He shot his mouth off, played the traffic officer and slapped his hands, but for what or who actually? He had no input whatsoever.”
Get off the fence, Valentijn.
***
More Word of Mouth
“He hasn’t scored enough goals to have his own celebration.”
A peeved James Maddison after Brentford’s Neal Maupay stole his darts-throwing goal celebration during last week’s game against Spurs. See below.
“More goals and less relegations in my career than James Maddison.”
Maupay replies. Now, now boys.
“After a match, I wouldn’t have spent an hour in a cold bath like Ronaldo. Leave me alone, my mates and I go home, play cards and have a beer.”
Eden Hazard on how he approached the business of ‘recovery’ in his Real Madrid days. Chilled, that lad.
“If I had five per cent of Cristiano’s mentality, I would have been among the 20 best midfielders. Unfortunately the Brazilian side prevailed . . . I thought I had already won everything and I didn’t want more.”
Anderson – remember him? – reflecting on why he didn’t quite become a Manchester United legend.
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