Exchange of the week
Undoubtedly, the one that took place between TalkSport’s Alex Crook and Evan Ferguson.
Crook: “There’s a lot of England fans who would love to see you pull on the white shirt – is that ever going to happen? Was that ever going to happen?”
Ferguson (who has already pulled on the senior green shirt, eh, eight times): “No, no ... that’s never going to happen, no. That’s not a question.”
Crook: “What’s the reason that you’re so committed to Ireland?”
Premier League round-up: Gabriel Jesus haunts Crystal Palace again as Arsenal close gap at top
Jimmy Dunne scores late winner as in-form QPR come from behind to beat Preston
New boss Ivan Juric ready for ‘really big challenge’ at Southampton
‘Proud’ Pep Guardiola defends Erling Haaland as Manchester City’s miserable run continues
Ferguson (wearing a slightly bemused expression): “Eh, I’m Irish.”
Back of the net, young Evan.
Least gracious in defeat award
Our award heads to Peru, although we’re not quite sure yet to whom it should be presented – and we won’t until the Peruvian Public Prosecutor’s Office completes its investigation.
Alianza Lima hosted their city rivals Universitario on Wednesday night in the second leg of the playoff for the Peruvian league title, the first leg having ended 1-1. A 2-0 win for Universitario sealed their first title in a decade, so understandably enough they launched into exceedingly merry celebrations on the pitch.
But within seconds the lights went out in the stadium, Universitario left celebrating in the dark and the trophy presentation ceremony cancelled.
Several theories were offered to explain what happened.
1) It was all down to an unfortunate and untimely power outage.
2) The police wanted a speedy “evacuation of the stands” to avoid any crowd trouble, so ordered the lights to be switched off. They denied this.
3) Shots were heard outside the stadium so for the safety of the Peruvian prime minster Alberto Otárola, who was at the game, the place was plunged in to darkness so he could leave without being seen. This was denied.
4) The Alianza supporters were so angry with the defeat, they wanted to get their hands on the club’s directors – so it was they who wanted to scarper from the stadium under the cover of darkness.
5) Alianza are just bad losers. We await the outcome of the investigation, but you’d be tempted to opt for 5.
Number of the week: 36.93
According to Sky Sports, that’s been Chiedozie Ogbene’s top speed this season (km/h), making him the fastest player in the Premier League. Speedster.
Word of mouth
“Watching games from the Saudi league helped me understand why only 696 fans turned up to watch Jordan Henderson’s Al-Ettifaq team lose at home. The games were a difficult watch and they actually got me thinking: ‘I could do half an hour as an ageing central midfielder in that football’.” – Graeme Souness is coming out of retirement.
“We are deeply disappointed that the club has settled on a head coach who has a history of sexist public statements that run counter to our ethos as a club, city and supporters’ group, and who also lacks a proven track record as a manager.” – Apart from that, Portland Timbers fans are thrilled with Phil Neville’s appointment as their new gaffer.
“A fairytale that we had built with so much effort was ruined by a use of VAR that is becoming diabolical. We risk ruining the beauty of sport.” – Lecce president Saverio Sticchi Damiani a touch displeased by VAR ruling out a last-minute ‘winner’ against AC Milan.
“If you don’t look at the result and only take the first 20 minutes into account, we did quite well.” – Apart from the last 70 minutes of FC Copenhagen’s 4-3 Champions League win, Rasmus Højlund reckoned it was a good night for Manchester United.
“If you have a problem and you put it in your drawer, the problem is in the drawer and it’s going to stink at some point.” – For Mikel Arteta, VAR is football’s equivalent of smelly socks.
“I think the majority of the players are struggling to buy into his body language, his demeanour, his soft Dutch accent, his ill-fitting suits.” – Graeme Souness coming up with quite a unique theory for why Erik ten Hag is having his struggles this season.
“It was like a wet kitchen towel. I had a major maintenance carried out, a bit like you do with your car.” – Kevin De Bruyne on his rather fragile hamstring which, he hopes, has been repaired by surgery.
