Spanish Federation toast Vilda’s success in moment of triumph

We’re all more than familiar by now with the back story to Spain’s World Cup journey, the bitter dispute between several of their players – some of whom refused to play in the tournament – and both manager Jorge Vilda and the Spanish Football Federation who have backed him all the way.

Luis Rubiales, the president of the Federation, wasn’t exactly conciliatory with his recent remarks on the affair, when wiser heads might have tried to calm the situation.

“We have stuck with those that have always wanted to be here, that have valued the great work that he [Vilda] has done, and we have forgotten the people with resentments. He has continued working and not paid attention to those who wanted to destroy him.”

Come Sunday, Rubiales was making headlines again when he greeted the Spanish players during the trophy presentation, grabbing Jennifer Hermoso’s head and smacking a kiss on her lips. This lad wouldn’t know a boundary from a packet of crisps.

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Meanwhile, the Federation’s reaction on Twitter to the triumph? “Vilda in,” they actually typed, in a decidedly gloaty kind of way, over a photo of him with the trophy. Lordy.

Time to roast the asparagus

It has, alas, become a bit of a tradition now, the likes of penguins, hedgehogs and giraffes being, eh, asked to make their World Cup predictions and the likes of this column daft enough to share them.

A new one on us, though, was the use of asparagus to forecast the outcome of the final. “Jemima Packington, 66, is the world’s only asparamancer and claims she can peer into the future by tossing asparagus spears in the air and interpreting how they land,” the Daily Star reported.

Impressively, Jemima had used asparagus to accurately predict “Brexit, the Queen’s death, Harry and Meghan quitting the Royal Family, industrial strikes causing unrest across the country and Covid continuing under a different strain,” so there was no reason to be sceptical at all.

So, what was her forecast? “The asparagus has told me that we’re in for a tense final and the game will go to penalties. But the Lionesses will come out as winners. I am sure of that.”

It’s time, perhaps, to roast the asparagus, season it with a bit of garlic, lemon, and Parmesan cheese, and serve hot. And maybe try tea leaves instead?

Boris’s unique take on final

Perhaps only Boris Johnson could write a column that links England reaching the World Cup final with the current situation in Afghanistan. How did he manage it?

In his Daily Mail column, he said he would like to strap “one group of male politicians” in to their chairs and make them watch the game so that they would understand “the excitement that goes with a great sporting competition, in which none of the participants gives a monkey’s if they show off a lot of their arms or their legs – and in which some even bare their bras in triumph after ­– scoring a goal. I mean, of course, the ­Taliban, the present ­rulers of Kabul”.

A unique take. Although there was one small glitch. The column appeared on Friday, Boris asking “can our amazing Lionesses ­actually beat the Spanish tomorrow?” To which an Ellen replied: “Don’t bother tuning in tomorrow, Boris, the match is on Sunday. Good to know your passion for the game extends to not even knowing when it’s on.” Oooh.

Pearce to the point

In the commentary box: We’ll go with Jonathan Pearce’s observation when he was commentating for the BBC on England’s semi-final against Australia, during which he told us the story of Australian goalkeeper Mackenzie Arnold’s struggles down the years with her hearing.

“So, she wears a hearing aid,” he told us.

And?

“She kept that quiet for a long, long time.”

Quote

“You left absolutely nothing out there Lionesses.”

British prime minister Rishi Sunak with words of consolation for the English team, which unkind people interpreted as meaning they left everything in the dressingroom.

Number: 3

That’s how many world cups Spain currently have in their possession – the under-17, under-20 and now senior trophies. And, for good measure, they’re the reigning under-19 European champions. A promising outfit.