When the Levy breaks: group therapy for ex-Spurs managers

An exclusive “insight” into the WhatsApp group for former Tottenham Hotspur managers: ‘Why is he so obsessed with wine gums?’

Ex-Tottenham manager Antonio Conte: presumably wondering where they got his phone number. Photograph: Lionel Bonaventure/AFP via Getty Images
Ex-Tottenham manager Antonio Conte: presumably wondering where they got his phone number. Photograph: Lionel Bonaventure/AFP via Getty Images

Daniel Levy Survivors Network Nuno, José, Mauricio +10 others

José Mourinho: someone add antonio

Nuno Espírito Santo added Antonio Conte

Mauricio Pochettino: waving emoji

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Antonio Conte: So this is where you come to hold hands and share your pain.

Martin Jol: It was Nuno’s idea. He sees it as a kind of group therapy.

Nuno Espírito Santo: The worlds of the elders do not lock all the doors. They leave the right door open.

Tim Sherwood: how are you spending your payoff?? lol lol

Antonio Conte: I repeat: it is not a payoff. It is a payment for work rendered. For time wasted. For a reputation that is degraded.

José Mourinho: crying laughing emoji if only you had signed more useless wing-backs

José Mourinho: 'He once tried to explain pressing to me. Photograph: Antonietta Baldassarre/Insidefoto/LightRocket via Getty Images
José Mourinho: 'He once tried to explain pressing to me. Photograph: Antonietta Baldassarre/Insidefoto/LightRocket via Getty Images

Antonio Conte: 6th and 7th in your two seasons. With the greatest English striker. Those who cannot speak must keep quiet.

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José Mourinho: did mr levy give you the speech about the wine gums

Antonio Conte: Yes. Why is he so obsessed with wine gums?

Mauricio Pochettino: Also he did this with me! “Mauricio, a football manager is like a packet of wine gums. So sweet and tasty, but when they run out you have no choice but to go to the shop and buy a new packet.”

Tim Sherwood: he used jammy dodgers with me lol lol

Mauricio Pochettino: I liked Daniel. We would sauna together on European trips. But his football knowledge: not good, no? Always some new idea he read in the newspaper.

José Mourinho: he once tried to explain pressing to me

Martin Jol: He sacked me at half-time.

André Villas-Boas: Welcome, Antonio. Of course, Mr Levy is a man of immense human dimension. But there is a clear deficit of footballing intellectualism to him. I remember his habitual persuasions for me to sign certain players because his son discovered them on Football Manager. For example, Leandro Damião.

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André Villas-Boas: I would later implement my own personal interrogations into this matter. The registratory paperwork of Leandro Damião could be retroceded to an office of tax litigation in Belo Horizonte. I travelled to Belo – it was an exhilarating 28‑hour drive via dense forest, open plains and a cargo ship – and located the file in an upstairs cabinet. It merely comprised a blank passport, various fiscal documentations and a photograph of a white cat. It can now be disclosed to this group that the footballer Leandro Damião never truly existed.

Glenn Hoddle: shocked emoji

Martin Jol: He once signed me a player called Paul Stalteri. He was Canadian. I had to teach him what a throw-in was.

David Pleat: David Pleat here! Just to put in my tuppence worth. I always found Daniel very pleasant company and can only applaud what he’s done for the club. New stadium, European football every year. Magnificent. I appreciate you boys are a competitive bunch. But I have to say I didn’t like some of the bickering and backchat that went on at times. Football’s a game, it’s there to be enjoyed. Enjoy it!

Nuno Espírito Santo: If your only tool is a hammer, you will see every problem as a nail.

Nuno Espírito Santo: 'If your only tool is a hammer, you will see every problem as a nail.' Photograph: Catherine Ivill - AMA/Getty Images
Nuno Espírito Santo: 'If your only tool is a hammer, you will see every problem as a nail.' Photograph: Catherine Ivill - AMA/Getty Images

Antonio Conte: Who is David Pleat?

Tim Sherwood: lol lol sick burn pleaty!!! lol

José Mourinho: in the whole history of tottenham, how many titles. two titles. in the history of josé mourinho, eight titles. portugal, england, italy, spain. it is not the history of the coach, it is the history of the club. for a coach, tottenham is your coffin. the fans expect titles, so i say to them: where are your titles? show me your titles. ok, maybe the official club visit to the children’s hospital in walthamstow is not the best time to say these things. but always i speak the truth

Antonio Conte: I repeat. It’s not a problem for me. I can go now to many different clubs, many different situations. I have all the formations: 3-4-3, 5-2-3, 3-4-2-1, 3-4-3 with a low block, 5-2-3 with Pierre-Emile pointing at things, 5-4-1, 3-4-3 but with the 3 and the 4 on the same line. But I suffer, you know? At this moment I can no longer tell the difference between the pain of losing and the pain of my gall bladder.

Mauricio Pochettino: The suffering is the good part, no? You work and you suffer and you try to give your people something. Always I try to explain this to people about Tottenham. When you dream, and you wake up, you never see the end of the dream, no? Nobody remembers how the dream ends. It is the dreaming that is important.

Nuno Espírito Santo: He who burns down his house knows why ashes cost a fortune.

Glenn Hoddle: Lads, Fabrizio Romano is reporting that they’re close to appointing a new permanent boss. Any intel?

José Mourinho: i tell nagelsmann he is crazy to take this job. i say, if you want to be a cripple go and walk in the road

Harry Redknapp: Andre, next time you go on one of them desert rallies, get me on the dog and bone. A mate in Weymouth does a triffic deal on used Subarus.

Mauricio Pochettino has left the group

Tim Sherwood lol lol lol lol!!!