English FA Premiership/ Manchester Utd 3 Portsmouth 0: The moral to the story, as Alex Ferguson wrote in his programme notes, is that "it is easier to sack a manager than get a new one, or at least a good one".
The Manchester United manager aptly described Portsmouth as being "in turmoil" after the chain of events that saw Milan Mandaric fly a private jet back from the funeral of George Best, his long-standing friend, only for a harrowing day to get worse.
Devoid of ideas, bereft of confidence, Portsmouth certainly looked a rudderless team, making basic organisational errors and, all in all, providing obliging opponents for a United side looking to massage their self-belief before Wednesday's critical Champions League tie against Benfica, a match that could define their season.
With a broken-nosed old centre forward such as Joe Jordan patrolling the technical area, their downfall was not brought about by a lack of endeavour, but there has been a conspicuous lack of leadership since Arjan de Zeeuw was sold to Wigan and it did not take long for United to sniff out their vulnerabilities - about the first five minutes, to be precise.
In that time, Old Trafford saw Andy O'Brien try a simple back-pass only to kick the ball out for a corner, Jamie Ashdown hoof a goalkick into touch and Andy Griffin commit the defensive sin of giving the ball away on the edge of his own penalty area.
Their goal was not breached, but the tone was set for a chastening experience, particularly for Griffin whose later aberration culminated in Wayne Rooney lashing in the second goal.
Conspiracy theorists will have noted that United have won their three Premiership games since Roy Keane's departure, as if his former colleagues have somehow been liberated by his expulsion. Sometimes too much is read into these things, but it seems strange that the removal of Keane has coincided with the long overdue return to form of Paul Scholes.
His headed goal after 20 minutes was his first of a season in which he has frequently looked as though he no longer enjoys his profession.
Ferguson predicted that many more would follow, with Scholes having a habit of scoring in rushes, but the most pleasing aspect for those who have watched the midfielder's decline over the past 18 months was the one-touch passing and movement that decorated his performance. If Scholes can re-establish himself as a consistent performer it will significantly lessen the impact for United of apparently losing out to Real Madrid in their pursuit of Michael Ballack.
The visiting spies from Benfica must have noted the swagger that accompanied some of the home side's better moves, but it is a measure of United's problems that this was the first time they have scored three times in a Premiership match at Old Trafford since January.
Van Nistelrooy added the final flourish after a teasing low centre from Cristiano Ronaldo, a boyhood Benfica fan who is likely to be recalled in the Estadio da Luz on Wednesday when United, with injury worries for Gary Neville and John O'Shea, must win to guarantee a place in the Champions League knockout stages.
Park Ji-sung had one of his better games since joining United, but in terms of width and penetration Ronaldo provided more in the 25 minutes he was on the field.
The events in Lisbon are likely to offer a more accurate picture of United's position than the visit of a managerless Portsmouth side who travel nearly as badly as they are doing at home. Right now the suspicion is that Ferguson's team are in football's equivalent of no-man's-land - too strong for the majority of opponents, yet not good enough to sustain a challenge for the title or, indeed, the European Cup. It's a theory Ferguson, hates but one Portsmouth enhanced and Benfica will be hoping to confirm.
* Guardian Service.
