The Italian reality television show Island of the Famous has been having problems, with Hurricane Jeanne delaying its launch for 10 days when it hit the Caribbean island where it is set.
When it finally got going seven of the 12 celebrities on the show had to be rushed to a nearby hospital after being struck down by food poisoning "after eating nuts found on the beach", according to Reuters. We're relieved to hear all seven are now well, although we wondered what might have been for Irish football if one of them had eaten dodgy nuts mere hours before the 1990 World Cup quarter-final in Rome. Get well soon Toto Schillaci.
The bear cheek
We're indebted to Donal for this nugget of a story. He was looking at a Manchester United messageboard and spotted a contributor boasting about himself and two of his pals stealing Nottingham Forest's mascot, Sherwood the Bear, from Forest's ground on a visit to pay tribute to the late Brian Clough.
"Nobody believed him," said Donal. But then somebody found this on a Forest website: 'Sherwood the Bear has been stolen from the City Ground. Forest commercial manager Matt Eames said today: 'We realise that it might be a prank that has just gone a little bit too far but it's important that we get Sherwood back soon.'"
So the United fan had the last laugh? Not quite: "West Bridgford Police are following up leads from CCTV footage of Sherwood being stolen by three youths from the Pitch Diner at The City Ground."
Song of the week
"Wayne would rather be a devil than a Scouse, so there's no more robbing grannies or your house, he would rather be a devil, and play with Gary Neville, he would rather be a devil than a Scouse."
- With apologies to Liverpudlians - blame Manchester United fanzine Red Issue.
Quotes of the week
"They (his team-mates) made it easy for me. I felt I should have had a few more, to be honest with you."
- Cobh Ramblers' Dave Warren, unhappy with his goal tally against Monaghan United. He did, after all, only score six.
"He's a beer-burger-brothel-bomber - and he likes to shoot in the dark. Ferguson says he doesn't really have to train Rooney as it all comes natural for him. Why? Rooney's motto is: brain out, ball in."
- German paper Das Bild's unique tribute to young Wayne, as spotted by the Observer.
"Spitting at Mourinho is only half of what I want to do to him . . . he knows I am capable of running on to the pitch and beating him up in front of everyone. I am prepared to go to prison over this."
- The charming Helder Mota, the Porto fan who spat last week at Jose Mourinho (who, he alleges, has been sending rude text messages to his wife).
"Our youths are now taking after our great football stars. Don't forget that in the developing world the braiding of hair and ear-rings have a sense of homosexuality."
- Otunba Runshewe of the Nigerian information ministry objecting to Jay Jay Okocha and co's "unmanly" hair-dos.
Staunton makes friends
These are not happy days for Steve Staunton at Coventry City, where he got dog's abuse from the crowd during the 4-1 defeat to Queen's Park Rangers last week. The player was accused of swearing at the fans in response to the abuse, prompting manager Peter Reid to apologise on his behalf. The Coventry Evening Telegraph suspects Staunton will remain unpopular with the supporters, as suggested by this photo they published, with the caption: "The inaugural Steve Staunton Fans forum gets under way."
Brazil back in business
Since getting the job as a presenter on the breakfast show of English radio station TalkSport, former Scottish international Alan Brazil has provided some extraordinary moments. Well, Football 365 got wind of another Brazil classic last week when, the morning after Wayne Rooney's hat-trick against Turkish side Fenerbahce, the 8.30 a.m. news came on.
Newsreader: "Two bombs have exploded outside branches of the British Bank HSBC in Turkey. . ."
Brazil (interrupting): "By the way, three more bombs were unleashed on Turkey last night."
Newsreader: "Yes, but it's not quite the same."
More quotes of the week
"You have to be prepared to give 100 per cent and I'm not sure Robbie Fowler can any more. It's to do with desire and I'm not sure he wants to play. His demise is one of the saddest disappointments of the English game and I can see him retiring soon."
- Jan Molby, Kidderminster manager, on his former Liverpool team-mate.
"We are gobsmacked that a man who had more than his fair share of personal problems as a player has chosen to publicly air his views in this manner. Perhaps he would be better served concentrating his efforts on Kidderminster, where he has hardly pulled up any trees."
- A Manchester City official responds.
"When people ask me what it is going to take for us to stay in the Premiership I say: Thierry Henry."
- Crystal Palace manager Iain Dowie.
"It still goes on, this abuse from the press. My nine-year-old sister was forced to stand in front of her class the other day and say whether she still likes me. I spat, I made a mistake, I was suspended and I'm sorry."
- Switzerland's Alexander Frei on life after spitting at Steven Gerrard in Euro 2004.
"I like the Scottish environment and I like their attitude. I feel close to Scotland as I have relatives there. I also like saving money."
- AC Milan coach Carlo Ancelotti on his penny-pinching affinity with the Scots.
Maradona comes clean
When we were reading extracts from Diego Maradona's autobiography in the Guardian we wondered if he'd finally show some remorse for that 'hand of God' goal against England. Well . .
"Sometimes I think I almost enjoyed that goal more, the first one," he said, comparing the hand-pass with the greatest goal of all time. "Now I feel I am able to say what I couldn't then. At the time I called it 'the hand of God'. B******s was it the hand of God, it was the hand of Diego! And it felt a little bit like pick-pocketing the English." No regrets, then.
