At half-time our Sky host Alex Payne told Sean Fitzpatrick and Rob Kearney that he reckoned Robbie Henshaw’s try deserved “a place in the Sistine Chapel”. It did too, but you’d have a notion that by full-time, if Michelangelo was still of this Earth he’d opt to paint the ceiling with a weeping Peter O’Mahony.
That was, after all, the image that made you pause over your boiled egg and soldiers. It was’t that we wouldn’t have guessed how much winning the series in New Zealand would mean to these fellas, but O’Mahony’s tears – the sight of which nearly had Alan Quinlan dissolving in the commentary box – showed us by how much.
“It wasn’t something you thought about as a young fellah,” he told Conor McNamara of the achievement, but around him, his more junior comrades were jigging and reeling in celebration, five wins out of the last eight against the All Blacks possibly leaving them thinking that beating this bunch is a breeze.
Mind you, Rob could feel the triumph in his waters pre-match. “I’m somewhat bullish,” he confessed, which drew a chuckle from Fitzie. “But you never, ever write off the All Blacks,” he added, somewhat unnecessarily.
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Fitzie, meanwhile, underlined just how much pressure was on their coach Ian Foster. “He has the most important job in New Zealand, even more important than the prime minister,” he said, although there were times, in the earlier phase of his reign, that Micheál Martin might have felt sorry for Andy Farrell and the pressure he was under, when some doubted that he was the right man for the job. Now? If we can fiddle with the rules, he’ll be living in Áras an Uachtaráin in no time.
But Alex warned us that “the Black-lash is coming”, so the couches of Ireland were probably a little less bullish than Rob. And when Conor commenced his fate-tempting before the game even started – eg “Glory so close that Ireland can almost touch it!” – that only added to the nerves.
They were eased a touch, though, when they got off to a Van der Flier, Josh delivering us a try with just three minutes and 42 seconds on the clock, when we were all still wiping the sleep from our eyes. And then Conor managed to put eight syllables into ‘Keenan’ when Hugo went over, before Henshaw’s Sistine Chapel exhibit saw the nation enter dreamland.
“Ireland are putting their foot on the throats of the All Blacks!” You wanted Conor to desist from such declarations, but at least Rob would be more cautious at half-time. “I think it may well be one-way traffic again in the second half!”
It was indeed one-way traffic in the early stages, but from the All Blacks, two tries narrowing the gap to five points and leaving you sorry you’d ever heard the alarm clock.
Johnny Sexton gave us some relief with a penalty, Conor telling us that he was “ageing like a fine New Zealand Pinot Noir”, but then Ireland conceded another try, leaving Johnny sporting a grimace like he’d just swallowed some mouldy plonk.
Time to panic? Certainly. Until five Tadhg Beirnes appeared on the pitch, all them popping up left, right and centre to thwart the attempted Black-lash, before Rob Herring inserted himself in the right ‘plaice’ at the right time. His try, its accompanying conversion and the clock ticking on a touch (a bit too slowly for our liking, mind) prompted the celebrations on the sideline, Sexton beaming, Bundee Aki hugging the living daylights out of every passerby and O’Mahony in shreds.
Full-time. The only thing that could dampen the jubilation would be a mention of the World Cup, a bit like telling a young one who has just been told she got nine As in her Junior Cert that “your Leaving will be here soon enough”. Hush.
“What does this mean,” Kirstie Stanway asked Johnny. “It means a lot now, but I know in a year’s time when the World Cup starts it won’t mean anything … ”. He went there.
“Big celebrations tonight,” Kirstie wondered. “Quiet enough I reckon,” said Johnny, “we’ve got to recover well”. That fellah makes Roy Keane seem like he’s lacking in drive.
Rob was having none of it, though, telling us that Sexton would “lead the celebrations from the front”.
You’d hope so too. Although if he heard James Lowe telling Mils Muliaina that he’d spend the night singing the Fields of Athenry – “it’s not going to stop mate, it’ll be on repeat” – Sexton might have opted for a quiet night. During which he’d have dreamt about the day Ireland would win a series in New Zealand. Before waking up with a smile.
