Quotes of the week

"Slapper Vieira Sent Off Again."

"Slapper Vieira Sent Off Again."

Curious headline on the Sun's football website following young Patrick's dismissal against Sunderland.

"I no longer drink. At most I will have a glass of wine . . . I want to play until I am 38 and I think Everton can win the title."

He may be off the booze but Paul Gascoigne is clearly taking some other form of mind-warping substance.

"The most reviled couple since Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun."

Daily Mirror columnist Brian Reade's description of . . . Posh Spice and David Beckham. Get a life, Brian.

"Tottenham will win the Premiership, or at least get in the Champions League."

Spurs' new signing Sergei Rebrov displays a wicked sense of humour.

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Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan is a sports writer with The Irish Times