"And Lampard, as usual, arrived in the nick of time. But it wasn't quite soon enough." - Sky Sports commentator Alan Parry has a Murray Walker-esque moment during Monday's Spurs v West Ham game.

"For the first time we have two central defenders who have been pillars and not pillocks." - Newcastle manager Bobby Robson pays tribute to the likes of Darren Peacock, Steve Howey and a host of former Newcastle centre halves.

"You usually like to play promoted sides around Christmas - they have got two lungs at the moment." - Paul Merson suggests Ipswich, Charlton and Manchester City will have trouble breathing come Christmas.

"His feet look the same as ten-past-ten on a clock." - Arsene Wenger hints that Robert Pires walks like a penguin.

"My chairman won't sack me just because I have had a bad start . . . I am so confident. The board here will not get twitchy, not at West Ham." - Harry Redknapp . . . we've a funny feeling we'll be digging this quote out again in a couple of months.