They may not know it yet but, according to the cross-channel transfer gossip, when they return from the World Cup half the Irish squad will on the move again, this time to new clubs in time for the new season. The latest rumours link Ian Harte with Celtic, Gary Kelly with Celtic, Sunderland and Bolton, Gary Breen with Southampton, Robbie Keane with Manchester City and Spurs, Clinton Morrison with Charlton and Kevin Kilbane with a return to his old club, West Brom.
Squadwatch
Stephen Reid will, by all accounts, have his pick of half the clubs in the Premiership while Damien Duff will have to decide whether to make Anfield or Old Trafford his new home. Of particular interest, though, to impoverished Notts County and Bournemouth, are rumours of imminent big money moves for their respective old boys, Steve Finnan and Matt Holland - should Fulham and Ipswich sell the pair County and Bournemouth will get 25 per cent of the proceeds.
All washed out
We've seen some mightily impressive World Cup competitions in recent weeks, offering all sorts of fandabulous prizes, but none tickled our fancy quite as much as the one currently running in the Sun. "If you're a World Cup widow who thinks that football is a load of old balls, look no further.This month, gorgeous guys from around the world will be gathering in Japan to show us their tackle,that's why we bring you the Women's World Cup planner - to help you enjoy June as much as your fella," says the ad.
"Our brilliant planner provides a guide to the games where the best looking World Cup heroes will be playing. So read on, relax, and start thinking about whose shorts you'd most like to wash."
Lovely. But, it gets better. To win the big prize all you have to do is study a photo of a footballer with his shorts down, identify him ("Here's a clue - he's got a very Posh wife") and "then just tell us why you'd like to wash his shorts".
The prize in the competition? A trip to the World Cup final? A million pounds? A fortnight in the Seychelles? No. "A top of the range washing machine".
World Cup speak
"When you're wiping phlegm off your face for a second time, having nursed a stray elbow only minutes earlier, it takes a degree of discipline not to lose your cool."
- To cries of "would you listen to who's talking", Danny Mills reminisces fondly about the game against Argentina.
"It is not as if we are asking for chocolate from a butcher's shop."
- Argentinian newspaper Ole evaluates Juan Sebastian Veron's display against England.
"He fell off his broomstick and the team lost flight."
- And another Argentinian newspaper, Diario, sums up the contribution of "The Witch", aka Veron.
"It's very bad for players like myself and Jay-Jay Okocha, who have achieved things, to sink to this level. We should be competing at world-class standard yet we have just wasted our time here. We do not have a team. Some of our players are junks."
- Nigeria's Taribo West in high spirits ahead of today's game against England.
"We coaches are always ready, we are sitting in the mouth of a volcano, we always have to be ready for something to happen."
- Something is telling Polish coach Jerzy Engel that he'll be down the job centre any day soon.
"The heroes fell without glory, without flair, with a quality of game lacking at all levels . . . and, even worse, with no goal in three games."
- Le Monde mourns France's exit.
Foul language
There's been a healthy supply of catchy World Cup-related headlines appearing in the world's newspapers in recent days but, according to the London Times, the most striking of all filled the entire front page of the afternoon special of Argentina's Ole following the defeat by England. Let's just say they were unhappy with the penalty awarded to England. Sitting comfortably? It read: "F*** You".
Japan clean up
The Japanese team brought shame on the world of football with their behaviour in their dressing-room following their win over Russia on Sunday. When, after the teams had left, cleaners at the Yokohama International Stadium arrived in Japan's dressing-room they were stunned by the scene that greeted them. "It was cleaner than when they arrived," said one shaken witness, quoted by the London Independent.
Double speak
We'll confess to being addled by Franz Beckenbauer's evaluation of the current German team. After their draw with Ireland he slated the team, for their second-half display in particular, and bemoaned the absence of a leader in the line-up.
"Mediocrity does not bring success at the World Cup," he concluded, in what we took as a less than ringing endorsement of der lads. Then? In an interview with Kicker magazine Beckenbauer was asked to name the two teams he reckons will reach the World Cup final. Answer: "The final will be Germany against Argentina."
Rivaldo rumours
Daftest World Cup-related transfer yarn of the week? From the Sun: Newcastle have bid £10 million for Rivaldo and "Barcelona are willing to talk business". To which we say: suuuuure. Next week: "Ronaldo all set for Dagenham and Redbridge in £25,000 deal".
Chef strikes back
If you were wondering why Poland - how does one put it without being unkind? - "underperformed" against Portugal on Monday the answer could well lie with the team chef's sadistic streak. After their 2-0 defeat by South Korea Robert Sowa refused to cook the players their favourite dish, saying: "I promised them long ago that after each game I would cook them wonderful zur soup as a reward but the result against South Korea wasn't the best so they didn't get any." God alone knows what he fed them after the Portugal game.
Naval patrol
Hearty thanks to James who got in touch after the Irish game yesterday to offer a nomination for chant of the week. On duty with the Naval Service Reserve in Kilrush, Co Clare, James watched the game in Buggles' bar where he was accompanied by a sizeable Cork contingent. When Matt Holland and Mark Kinsella struggled to get a grip of the game in the first half the cry went up from the crowd: "Where's our midfield? In Mayfield, in Mayfield". Soooperb.
Compiled by Mary Hannigan
