George W takes his eye off the ballAfter the United States secured one of the finest results of its footballing history, when they beat Portugal 3-2 on Wednesday, one assumed that President George W Bush would be all a-tizz about the achievement.
Hmm. His response, through spokesman Scott McClellan: "The president is fully supportive of the USA soccer team, and was encouraged by their first round victory". Encouraged? Calm down George, calm down. Earlier, Bush's chief spokesman, Ari Fleischer, told the press "he has noted their victory, and has already remarked on it - the President talked about how good the United States is at sports". And had he seen the game? No. Because, according to Fleischer, it clashed with "his intelligence briefing". Don't.
Krazy in Kyrgyz
A big hello to Jim Egan who emailed us from Bishkek in the Kyrgyz Republic during the week to tell us of the fun and games he and his Irish pals are having trying to watch the World Cup on television, a task that involves running from pub to pub in search of a channel that is showing the football, rather than French Open tennis or "1960s 'B' movies".
Fortunately, Jim and Co got to see the Ireland v Germany game - well, most of it. "Seventy-five per cent of the Irish population in Bishkek (that's three of us) watched it together. As you can imagine, the crack was pretty good. Don't mention that 25 per cent of the Irish population (not me, I hasten to add) was in the toilet when Ireland scored. We're thinking of putting him in there for the entire game against Saudi."
Look what Roy started
"The way that we prepared wasn't good enough to play in a tournament at the highest level like the World Cup. At the highest level you must prepare for the World Cup in a different way if you want to do something. It's just not good enough."
- Cameroon's Lauren
"This is incredible, they must be imbeciles. How do these players hope to have a great tournament? Their attitude is all wrong."
- Argentina's Hernan Crespo after hearing that seven England players were boozing until four in the morning in Dubai a fortnight before the World Cup.
"I can buy you, I can buy your house, your family and I can buy that mountain we were running on in Slovenia during our preparations. You were a dickhead player and you're the same as a coach now."
- Slovenia's Zlatko Zahovic lets rip at coach Srecko Katancec.
A marriage made in heaven
Spotted in the London Independent, a peach of a report on an advertisement for the Angsana Resort and Spa in Bintan, Indonesia, which recommended to football-loving lads that they should pack their wives off to the resort so that they could enjoy the World Cup in peace. "Their female instincts simply cannot identify with your passion for the world's greatest sport," it said. "In her eyes, the World Cup is a threat to marital bliss. To avoid the nagging this year, send her off with her girlfriends to a spa for a pampering experience, far away from your TV set."
Flying insults
Reporter: "What is China's strong point?"
Roberto Carlos (Brazil): "Running."
"I know him well and he is a mediocre goalkeeper." Paraguay goalkeeper Jose Luis Chilavert on his Spanish counterpart, Iker Casillas
"Now a referee from Benin will be in charge of our game against Costa Rica. I ask you, do you know where Benin is? Do they even have a league there?" Turkish football federation president Haluk Ulusoy.
"Almost all the matches are rather boring. I am not impressed by any of the national teams so far. The professional level of the players is taking a turn for the worse year by year, and the stadiums practically stay empty." Former Bulgarian star Hristo Stoitckov loving every minute of the World Cup.
They said
Reporter: "Were you upset at conceding a goal (to England)?"
Magnus Hedman (Sweden): "No, I'm used to it - I play for Coventry."
"Candela is blowing in the wind." BBC commentator Barry Davies during the France v Uruguay game. Weep.
"Be cool, calm and calculated - nothing should pass you tomorrow." Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo's advice to goalkeeper Ike Shorunmu. Next week: Mary McAleese tells Shay Given to keep his eye on the ball.
"I haven't been able to detect a weakness in Portugal." USA coach Bruce Arena before Wednesday's game, during which his players detected one for him - the Portuguese defence.
Saudis are up for it
"We apologise wholeheartedly again to the Saudi fans after our two defeats and we promise them we will beat Ireland." Saudi Arabian coach Nasser Al-Johar.
"The game against Ireland will not be easy but we have no choice but to win it so we can persuade people and especially the Saudis that we can play well at the highest level." Goalkeeper Mohammed Al-Daeyea.
Nul points for Edyta
First Roy Keane was sent home, then Zlatko Zahovic and now Edyta Gorniak. Gorniak, you'll remember, came second for Poland in the 1994 Eurovision Song Contest and was chosen by FIFA to sing her country's national anthem before Tuesday's game against South Korea. Traditionally an up-tempo little number, Gorniak's unique rendition transformed it in to a dirge, and an unrecognisable one at that - only 16 per cent of Poles who responded to an Internet survey said they recognised it as their anthem.
The Polish World Cup delegation issued a statement expressing shock at the performance, with the deputy head of their federation, former player Zbigniew Boniek, saying it sounded like "a lot like a Christmas carol or protest song". Gorniak promptly returned to Poland and, it seems, not even an apology will earn her a recall.
Sorry seems to be
"I don't even know why I was fined - I was the injured party." Rivaldo (left). He'll be full of remorse soon, just give him time.
"In football, you have to be sly." Rivaldo. See above.
"It's in the past now but I will try not to do that again." Rivaldo - hah, progress!
Paddy whackery
The Guardian's World Cup email service ("The Yen") - Wednesday: "The Irish are the most visible group of fans out in Japan and are probably the stupidest too. Virtually everyone is in some kind of fancy dress . . . of course, there's not a hint of trouble, and not much sobriety either." Thursday: "To all those who mailed in, the use of the word 'stupid' in yesterday's Yen was supposed to mean 'wacky' and I hoped that would have come across in its context. In truth, I love Ireland: the kilts, the haggis, and the sound of choirs ringing out across the valleys will always be close to my heart." That's alright, then.
