Planet Football

Today's other stories in brief

'Hand of God' referee gives linesman the hump

It might be almost 21 years since Maradona scored his 'Hand of God' goal against England but the incident is still ruffling feathers, with one of the linesmen from the game, Bulgarian Bogdan Dotchev, not taking kindly to Tunisian referee Ali Bin Nasser's suggestion that he was to blame for not spotting the handball.

"He (Bin Nasser) is an idiot more fit to herd camels in the desert than take charge of a World Cup game," Dotchev told the Sun. "A European referee would never recognise the validity of such a goal. European refs take charge of at least one or two important games per month and are used to big-match pressure. What is there for Bin Nasser to referee in the desert where there is nothing but camels?" That's the issue resolved then.

Quotes of the week . . .

"Nothing is surprising with David Beckham . . . his career's been full of surprises . . . when I first heard about it I was really surprised."

- Unsurprisingly, Jamie Redknapp.

"I will not have Tottenham pulling my pants down over the fee."

- Chris Coleman, tightening his belt in his negotiations with Spurs for Wayne Routledge.

"I asked one young player: 'What would you rather have, a Ferrari or an England cap?' And he said: 'Well, definitely a Ferrari. They're fantastic, aren't they?' Now, that's alien to me."

- Stuart Pearce despairs for the youth of today.

"There is vanity, egoism and they all think they are superstars. Real Madrid players never pay for anything. You have education and culture and that's something that they in general don't possess."

- Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon speaking at a student conference. He thought his comments were off-the-record. Bless.

" He will be an average cinema actor living in Hollywood. The proof our technical team was right in not considering his continuity has been ratified because no one, with the player having been free, wanted him."

- Calderon again, this time wishing David Beckham well in Los Angeles.

Sly digs get Green in trouble

One thing you can say in defence of BBC Radio Five commentator Alan Green is that in his time he's managed to offend so many clubs, managers and sets of supporters he can hardly be accused of discrimination. Or favouritism.

He was, of course, in trouble again last week after his comments during the Everton v Reading game, when he was so excited by Sylvester Stallone's appearance at Goodison Park he referred to it as a "pathetic stunt by a B-list celebrity". The clincher, though, was when, upon noticing Stallone leaving the ground before the end of the game, he suggested he was "going to see whether his limousine was on bricks". For the uninitiated, that was a reference to the stereotype that the favourite pastime of Liverpudlians is whipping wheels off cars.

"Alan Green's cheap remark perpetuates outdated myths and damages the city's reputation nationally," said Warren Bradley, the leader of Liverpool council, in his letter of complaint to the BBC.

"Alan's comments were off the cuff and meant to be humorous, but they were not and we are very sorry if they caused offence," said the BBC response.

Everton, who also complained, said they were happy with the BBC response and would let the matter lie. But, checking Green's online biography at Wikipedia yesterday we noted it had been edited, suggesting, perhaps, that one Everton fan is less forgiving: "Alan Green is a BBC Radio Five Live sports broadcaster/commentator, Orange Lodge **** and . . ."

We'll leave the rest to your imagination.

Fans reassess Kelly's worth

Speaking of football folk being abused on the internet . . . we hope Gary Kelly didn't spend time last week browsing Leeds websites.

"Over the years, Gary Kelly has earned the respect of countless Leeds United fans for his eternal loyalty to the club," reads the Wikipedia entry for the Irish full back, but that respect wasn't too evident after Leeds chairman Ken Bates kindly revealed the following in an interview with the London Times.

"Twelve million pounds over five years," said Bates, claiming Kelly earns £46,000 a week. "I worked out that all the money that Leeds earned getting to the semi-finals of the Champions League was handed to Kelly with his new contract. That is the burden I inherited, but fans forget that very quickly."

We won't repeat the general response to this news, but let's just say Leeds fans suggested, in the strongest terms possible, that Kelly wasn't quite worth his wages. Only they said it a little more colourfully.

More quotes of the week . . .

"It wasn't about cash, that didn't come into it. It was about being wanted."

- Lucas Neill, explaining why he opted to join West Ham (£60,000 a week), rather than Liverpool (£30,000 a week) from Blackburn.

" For the first time we have gone for a truly world-class coach. If one has to eat a frog, it has to be a big one."

- Former Nigeria coach Christian Chukwu welcomes the appointment of Berti "Big Frog" Vogts as coach of Nigeria.

"If I left Arsenal tomorrow having won the League but the club £200 million in debt, I wouldn't feel very proud."

- Arsène Wenger tries to ease the pressure on his good friend Jose.

"I have been educated to understand that when you have £10 you don't spend £11 and I've respected that all my life in both football and my private life."

- Wenger says another big hello to Jose.

"I advised him to use the ointment but forgot it contained cortisone. Our sex session proved fatal."

- Argentine model Belen Rodriguez blaming herself for AC Milan striker Marco Borriello's failed drugs test. Thank you for sharing that with us, Belen.

Clint eastward bound . . .

You might possibly have heard that David Beckham will be moving to LA Galaxy at the end of the season, but a move the other way, from the US to Europe, that of Clint Dempsey to Fulham, has received just a touch less publicity. Luckily Dempsey has his own website so we've been able to read all about the transfer there: "Its official yall heard right ya boy got the green light to go ahead. Its been a long time waiting but this move is a dream come true. Im looking forward to putting on the black and white jersey for Fulham. I appreciate all the support along the way and it goes to show grindin pays off. I'm a represent to the fullest be easy and God Bless."

God bless you too, Clint.