McCarthy's men abroad: Whatever happened to..Phil Babb? And why has he never returned to the Republic of Ireland fold since his display of unruliness that night on Harcourt Street when his partner in crime, Mark Kennedy, has long since been forgiven by Michael "Mick" McCarthy? We don't know either, but we do know that things are going very nicely on the club front for Babb, who has established himself in the Sporting Lisbon side that is currently very much in contention for the Portuguese league title.

Whacker from Cork (aka Larry O'Dwyer) is also keeping a close eye on Babbsie's season and alerted us on Saturday to a UEFA.com profile of the lad himself. Ready? "One of the finest Portuguese central defenders of recent years. Highly gifted technically but also a man-marking specialist with a tendency to go upfield and try his luck in dead-ball situations. Began his career in Sporting's youth scheme and has become one of hottest properties in Portuguese football and has served as understudy for Fernando Couto and Jorge Costa in the national squad."

"Earth to UEFA.com," we said, upon reading the profile, while a befuddled Larry declared: "I knew that selling Phil Babb to Portugal was going to be a bad idea." But, after a little investigating, we reckon that UEFA.com confused Babb with Beto, unless, of course, Babb has changed his name to Philipo Costa Babbso, deleted his 35 Irish caps from the records and is now in contention for a Portuguese World Cup call-up. If it happens remember where you read it first.

So, you're Jam Aican?

We're not prepared to name names, largely because the High Court frightens us, but we have it on very good authority that a current Republic of Ireland international (as reported by one of his team-mates) visited the Point last year for a concert and, on being told "this guy here's Jim Aiken", while circulating in the VIP area, replied: "I was there on holidays last year - what part are you from?" Oh yes. Love it.

Brolin just can't strike it lucky

If we claimed that we'd been inundated with requests for information on what Tomas Brolin is doing with himself these days, we'd be lying through our back teeth. We're going to tell you any way, though. The Swede, whose career progression graph resembles the logo for McDonalds (Nasvikens IK, GIF Sundsvall, IFK Norrkoping, Parma, Leeds United, FC Zurich, Parma, Crystal Palace, Hudiksyallas ABK) and who comfort-ate his way through his spell at Leeds United, finished his playing career as a goalkeeper in the Swedish third division before becoming a bit of an entrepreneur, opening his own chain of restaurants, starting up "Brolin Quality Shoes" and 'Brolin Active Wear', not to mention his vacuum cleaner parts and skin-care businesses.

Now? All's not well. The debt collectors are chasing him after he failed to pay Norrkoping council £35,000 in rent arrears on properties around the city. This is the latest in a string of Brolin post-footballing mishaps, following on from a court appearance two years ago for failing to properly maintain an apartment block, a nasty car collision with an elk and a police raid on another property of his which turned out to be a drug dealing HQ. Happily, though, his wife, a former Miss Sweden, is standing by him. Her name? Annika Duckmark, which, Coronation Street fans reliably tell us, is the Swedish for Vera Duckworth.

Big mouth

Just when we thought Ron "Big" Atkinson couldn't surpass himself Football 365 provided a clutter of recent Atko commentating quotes that convinced us he's not even near his peak. (1) "Ballack is being a bit milky at the moment." (2) "Rovers' strength is their strength." (3) "Arsenal's strike-force are having the Leverkusen defence on toast." (4) "The ref has just awarded a free for that hand (lengthy pause) foot high business." (5) "He's not in the Wide Awake Club."

Ooooh, Big Ron we love you.

Quotes of the Week

"We didn't look any worse than them."

Leicester boss Dave Bassett pays a fulsome tribute to his team after their 1-0 defeat by Middlesbrough.

"Kilmarnock are a very good Premier League club, but it is like an umbrella when a job becomes available and many people are linked with it."

Jim Jeffries on being asked if he fancied taking over the Kilmarnock reigns. Like an umbrella? Nope, ne comprenez us either.

"We are a young side that will only get younger."

Nottingham Forest manager Paul "you wha?" Hart.

"Welcome to hell my arse! If you think this is hell try the Grafton on a Friday night."

A banner spotted at Liverpool's match away to Galatasaray last week, one that cast aspersions on the reputation of Liverpool's prime dancing hot-spot.

"If people feel that they don't want to be part of what we are doing here, then I won't kiss their rears to keep them."

David O'Leary bids adieu to Harry Kewell (Lee Bowyer, Mark Viduka, Olivier Dacourt, etc).

"There's only one word to describe Wolves at the moment - absolutely flawless".

A numerically challenged Nationwide spokesman on BBC Radio Five Live, as quoted by Football 365.

"The ref had the audacity to tell me he was a rubbish referee before the game. When we handed the team sheets in he said 'Let's get this started, I'm not a very good referee'".

Scunthorpe manager Brian Laws on his brush with a brutally candid official.

A tempestuous derby

Planet Football has loved Paolo Di Canio ever since he revealed that "I just give 100 per cent and I want to win every time I play," admitting that this competitiveness extended to games in his back garden with his daughter Lucrezia (age: five months). Little wonder, then, that French midfielder Christian Karembeu caught our fancy last week when it emerged that he nearly broke his supermodel wife Adriana's leg with a slide tackle during a back garden game of football. Adrianaa, a Slovakian Wonderbra model, complained that Christian took these games "far too seriously" so, jeez, they "switched to boxing and even then he still managed to break my finger".

Number one on most wanted list

Steve McCarthy, manager of New Zealand's Gisborne Marist, has advertised in Glasgow Celtic's magazine (Celtic view) for a goalkeeper, claiming that "a Glaswegian goalie would have more passion and expertise than he could find at home", according to Ananova. "We're not looking for a Packie Bonner or an Andy Goram but if anyone has competed well at juniors level they'd compete at a reasonably high standard here."

We wish Steve well in his hunt but advise him that if any Alan Rough or Jim Leighton look-a-goalie-a-likes apply he should lose their applications in the post.

Football on TV

Wednesday: Liverpool v Newcastle (Premiership), Sky Sports 1, 8.0; Real Madrid v Deportivo Coruna (Spanish Cup Final), Sky Sports 3, 8.0.

Friday: Dundalk v Shamrock Rovers (FAI Cup semi-final), Network Two, 7.45.

Saturday: Newcastle v Arsenal (FA Cup sixth round), BBC1, 5.35.

Sunday: Rangers v Celtic, Sky Sports 1, 12.0; Middlesbrough v Everton (FA Cup sixth round), BBC1, 1.0; Bohemians v Derry City (FAI Cup semi-final), Network Two, 3.15; Spurs v Chelsea (FA Cup sixth round), Sky Sports 2, 4.0; West Bromich Albion v Fulham (FA Cup sixth round), Sky Sports 2, 6.30.