A bluffers guide to . . . Synchronised Swimming

You mean to tell me that this is considered a sport?

Yes. Many of the elite participants come from a gymnastics background and strength, flexibility, aerobic endurance and swimming skills are required to compete at the highest level. It’s been in the Olympics since 1984.

Look, floating upside down like a dead goldfish is hardly taxing. You say swimming skills but surely that’s an exaggeration?

The sport is administered by Fina, the world governing body for swimming, and many of the routines require a participant to be able to positions themselves accurately in the water. The eggbeater kick, also popular in water polo, is an important skill. It is a form of treading water that allows for stability and height above the water while leaving the hands free to perform arm motions. An average eggbeater height is usually around collarbone level.

Go on, I’m listening. Eggbeater is used in all “arm” sections, choreography in which the swimmer is upright, often with one or both arms in the air. Another variation is a body boost, which is executed through an eggbeater build-up and a strong whip kick, propelling the swimmer out of the water vertically. A body boost can raise a swimmer out of the water to hip level.

Look, it’s really water ballet. Sport has to have an element of danger or physical risk?

You may not realise this but in a 2012 book Concussions and Our Kids, Dr Robert Cantu and Mark Hyman reported

that Dr Bill Moreau, who served as medical director for the US Olympic Committee, reported that during a two-week training session in Colorado Springs about a dozen women athletes participating suffered a 50 per cent concussion rate.

So you’re saying they kick each other in the head?

Yes, it is apparently very common. “I would say 100 per cent of my athletes will get a concussion at some point,” said Myriam Glez, chief executive of USA Synchro, the sport’s national organising body. “It might be minor, might be more serious, but at some point or another, they will get hit.”

Did I hear that synchronised swimming is quite male- gender intolerant?

Well, sort of, men are allowed to take part in lots of competitions, including the world championships, but they are precluded from taking part in the Olympics.

Is it true that there was once a solo event in the event? Isn’t that a bit of an oxymoron?

There used to be, but in Rio the events are limited to pairs and to teams.

The participants look a bit like Aunt Sally from the old television series Worzel Gummidge (Google it).

Yes, there is an element of the painted, facelift look. Incidentally, competitors hold their hair in place by using gelatin, the food-thickening agent used to make jelly.

JOHN O’SULLIVAN