The grass can frequently seem greener on the other side for many of us. Well how much greener could the grass have been over at the Greater Greensboro Classic in North Carolina last week? If the "greenbacks" are anything to judge by then it was much more verdant in America - about three times greener, as the players were competing for $3.5 million, compared to a modest €1 million in Portugal.

Money is not everything. Quinta do Lago, which is part owned by the European Tour, is a good golf course. It is set in a very pleasant location on the southern coast of Portugal amongst some fine retirement homes and permanent residences.

The only problem was the condition of the greens: they were abysmal by anyone's standards, and a professional golfer has higher expectations from a tournament venue. The greens were definitely greener at Greensboro.

In fact the greens at Quinta do Lago were similar to the greens the previous week in Valencia at El Saler. Both courses are wonderful layouts by European Tour standards; unfortunately the greens did not match the quality of the rest of the course.

As always, somebody will hole putts and someone will win and be very happy and say it was a great course in fantastic condition after he raises the trophy. He is happy to win and not in the mood to upset anyone. Who could blame him? But the reality is not as it appears on television.

When greens are bumpy and unpredictable less attempted putts will be holed but some will. Padraig Harrington holed two putts of 40 feet on Thursday for birdies. Most players would be happy to two-putt from that distance, but Padraig has seemed to be able to putt well on all greens, good or bad. His first professional win in Madrid was at Club de Campo where the greens were terrible. Padraig appeared to have mastered the art of bumpy putting, until it came to the weekend when he succumbed to the whimsical nature of Quinta do Lago's shortest grass.

The tour seems to exist as if impervious to proceedings in the outside world. Last week that isolation was interrupted.

Many players expressed concern that the foot-and-mouth crisis might affect the tournaments in the British Isles. It hasn't happened so far. Worse than that, though, the "Sweetie People" had some of their most popular lines confiscated by customs authorities at Bournemouth Airport due to the disease.

Let me explain. About 10 years ago a middle aged English couple arrived at a tournament with a big bag of sweets. Nothing unusual you may think, many people like to suck on a few sweets while spectating. This was a shopping bag half full of hard-boiled sweets, soft toffees, butter scotch, liquorice and many more varieties that were presented to players and caddies as they strode between holes.

The "Sweetie People", as they affectionately became known, used to limit their sugar supplies to the English events. A few years later they branched out to Holland and Belgium, filling their car with all sorts of English confectionery. Unannounced, they could turn up at any location around Europe.

They have extended their range greatly over the years and based on observation and research they even offer certain players their preferred brand as they approach. In this particular form of catering, planning is very important. So when "The Sweeties" go to their local sweet shop in Bournemouth before a tournament, they have a specific shopping list.

The "Chocolate Limes" and the "Mint Humbugs" have been the most popular sweet for many years, so they make up the bulk of their purchases. Their range has been supplemented with relatively more substantial sustenance in Tunnocks caramel bars and Break Away bars in recent years.

Last week they had anticipated that the caramel bars and Break Away bars wouldn't pass the examination at the airport, and with the restrictions on exports of dairy products it was obvious that the chocolate bars wouldn't make it.

But when the most popular sweet on Tour, the "Chocolate Lime" was targeted they were taken aback. How would they face the expectant golfers and caddies when they met them in Portugal with a half bag of "Mint Humbugs' and no "Chocolate Limes"?

The word on the fairways of Quinta do Lago last week was that Bournemouth Customs and Excise officers had a penchant for "Chocolate Limes". Thus when another putt wobbled mysteriously by on yet another green the dissatisfied golfers had to console themselves with a "Mint Humbug". Phillip Price was too busy picking his ball out of the hole on Sunday to worry about such trivial affairs. Quinta's greens were green enough for the Welshman.