No way Jose is going to listen to advice from Gilesy

TV View:   There's something endearing about that paragon of modesty, the self-effacing Jose Mourinho. There is actually. He's like a younger version of Brian Clough, with a Portuguese accent. One day we'll miss him if, as seems entirely plausible, he is hoist by his own petard. Post-match interviews would certainly be duller without him already, whatever about the actual football.

In any event, his charm offensive on pundits and media alike continued apace on Saturday after the latest demonstration of his "One-nil to the Chelsea" formula against Birmingham. On Match of the Day he was asked if, with all the money being spent at Chelsea, people were entitled to "expect a little bit more".

"Yes, I know that," he admitted. A humble moment? Fear not. "But people doesn't (sic) know about football. People think they know about football, but they don't know much."

It must be a lonely oul' world in Mourinho's mind, being such a font of knowledge amid such widespread ignorance. But he seems entirely happy in it. Gary Lineker reckoned Mourinho's bitter comment was directed at Alan Hansen.

It's just as well then that Mourinho doesn't get Network 2's Premiership highlights package, although on second thoughts maybe somebody in Montrose should send him a copy and invite him on to the programme for a post-match discourse with Johnny Giles. That would even be worth staying in on a Saturday night for. Well, setting the video anyway.

Giles has revised his opinion that Chelsea, with their 200-million spending spree under Abramovich - whom RTÉ once ludicrously dubbed Red Rom - could go on to win the Premiership.

"I can't see them dominating the poorer teams in the way that Manchester United and Arsenal, in particular, do," Giles said, with a midfield comprising Geremi, "who's basically a digger", Makelele, "whose main asset is as a digger", and Smertin.

"Lampard is by far their most creative midfielder, and he's not really a creative player. None of them are wide players . . . they were all in the middle of the field, so there was no one to pass it to.

"There was no shape about them and I think if he continues like that, teams like Birmingham will beat them."

To compound his verdict, Giles observed: "I think Chelsea have less creativity than Liverpool had last year." Ouch!

Considering you wouldn't be inclined to open the curtains if Liverpool were playing in your back garden latterly, that hurt.

"I would be amazed if he sticks with those players and wins the championship," Giles concluded.

Hansen, however, was either cowed by Mourinho or had a road-to-Damascus-like conversion.

"You talk about Chelsea? Two games, six points, two clean sheets. What more do you want at the start of the season?"

Jose and Hansen? Kindred spirits really.

The expertise of Giles and Hansen can only lead to the conclusion that one of them isn't, actually, an expert.

Regarding Didier Drogba's misfiring, Hansen reckoned the Marseilles signing wasn't worth £24,000, much less £24 million. Gilesy put it down to an off-day and forecast he would bag lots of goals.

Of Southampton's 3-2 win over Blackburn, Hansen commented: "Well, I thought it was a great watch. For 90 minutes it had virtually everything. It had drama, incident, it was end-to-end stuff, high-tempo, good-quality football, and it was a shame it was spoiled by a crazy decision at the end. It was never a penalty in a million years."

Also referring to Andy D'Urso's ridiculous injury-time penalty to the home side, Giles concurred. But that was all.

"They (Blackburn) were very unlucky. Southampton didn't play well at all. Blackburn didn't play very well themselves," he added with a laugh, perhaps at this parody of himself.

"It wasn't a very good game. It got the goals, which made it fairly exciting."

It will be interesting to see how Chelsea go. My money's on Gilesy and Arsenal.

To Mourinho's credit though, he took an instant dislike to Robbie Savage. "This was a battle, a fair battle until the elbow (by) this blonde player." Robbie Savage? "Yes, Robbie Savage," he said.

Savage maintained he didn't use his elbow.

"You give a look," snorted Jose. "And I hope the disciplinary committee also give a look."

If only Chelsea were as entertaining as Jose. Then you wouldn't be inclined to fast-forward to the post-match interviews.