Mary Hannigan: Olympics on TV – view from the couch

No shortage of carnage as the gory Games again

Irish gymnast Kieran Behan who dislocated his knee in action at the Olympic Games in Rio. Photograph: Dan Sheridan/Inpho

Another Olympics and another set of inspirational stories and new role models for the world's youth. Like shooter Ginny Thrasher who won the first gold medal in Rio, the American having dreamt of becoming an Olympic figure skater but then went hunting with her Grandpa when she was 14 and blew the head off a deer. She had found her calling. Now kiddies inspired by Ginny won't be looking at Bambi and going 'aaaaaw', they'll be arming themselves.

You’d imagine, though, that the same kiddies will have concluded that gymnastics is as dangerous for humans as Ginny is for deer, the scenes from the Rio Olympic Arena over the weekend approaching carnage levels. It will possibly take Frenchman Samir Ait Said less time to recover from his broken leg than it will the telly viewers who witnessed it, making Germany’s Andreas Toba’s ruptured anterior ligament while doing a tumbly thingie on the floor seem like a mere niggle.

It all reached peak massacre levels when Kieran Behan conducted his post-performance chat with RTE in a wheelchair after rupturing his knee, and then Ellis O'Reilly landed on her head dismounting the beam. "She seems to have wrenched her neck a little bit," said Jerry Kelly, which seemed like a bit of an understatement, but she dusted herself down. "I knew it was bad …. but hey," Behan had said of his mishap, and O'Reilly appeared to be as nonplussed about her own.

They’re hardy folk, these gym people. Tough on each other too. “There’s no artistry on the bars, so it will suit her,” said RTE’s resident expert Mary Murray of Ellis. Blunt.

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Any way, there was no shortage of carnage in the men’s road race on Saturday either, one that took Greg Van Avermaet six hours, 10 minutes and five seconds to win, which, when you think about it, is around six hours, nine minutes and 55 seconds longer than Usain Bolt takes to do his golden work.

Bodies everywhere, although despite the inevitable exhaustion RTE’s Declan Quigley was still in one piece at the end, unlike the lads who went flying on the final descent having managed to remain upright for the previous 230ish kilometres.

Through their Olympic coverage, the BBC is urging us all to ‘Get Inspired’, to try out a few sports until we find the one that best suits our talents and could one day see us become Olympians too. After that weekend viewing, gymnastics and cycling are out, whatever about winning medals the very least you’d want is to return home in one piece.

Hockey can be just as dangerous if you get that ball in the face, but happily we were spared such bloodletting when Ireland took on India in their opening game, Ger Canning taking time to adjust but recovering well from his early “India are sending the ball in to the square”. Incidentally, with a large chunk of RTE on Rio duty we half expected to find, say, Miriam O’Callaghan on commentating duty at Croke Park for Kilkenny v Waterford, but instead it was Marty Morrissey behind the mic, evidently having lost out to Stephen Alkin in the beach volleyball lottery.

Also on Rio duty is Timmy ‘Boom-shaka-laka’ McCarthy, the basketball commentator extraordinaire, those cries of dooooooowntooooooown during USA v China making you truly realise the Games are indeed upon us, although the Rugby Sevens feel decidedly less Olympicy, Eddie Butler and Clive ‘Sir’ Woodward seeming to make up close on half the crowd at Britain’s 40-0 mullering of Japan in the women’s event, the sport yet to ignite the Brazilian imagination.

Swimming is somewhat more established and Saturday produced a half decent performance or two, Adam Peaty breaking the world record in the 100m breaststroke despite only looking 12, and Hungary’s Katinka Hosszu smashing the 400m individual medley record on her way to gold, at which point the NBC cameras picked out her celebrating husband/coach in the crowd and declared, ‘and there’s the man responsible!’ He was bone dry, unlike Katinka who, therefore, possibly deserved some credit herself.

The swimmer of the weekend, though, was Spain’s Miguel Duran Navia who was disqualified before the fourth heat of the men’s 400-metre freestyle and there ended his Olympics before they’d ever started. He gathered up his clothes and tearfully headed for the changing rooms and as Nick O’Hare put it, “ah God love him!” You’d be in shreds, like.

And then he reappeared beaming, he’d been undisqualified and allowed to race, which left John Kenny aghast. “He false-started! He cried his way out of the pool! My heart went out to him, but! This is a dangerous precedent!”

And then he finished last. But look, it’s the competing that matters. Nobody died. Not even Bambi.