Left out in the cold

As if linesman Peter Roaden wasn't mortified enough after events at last week's clash of the Titans - The Touchdown v Wingate - in the Ashley Air Products Over-40s League in Hartlepool, he opened his London Times on Saturday to read all about it. After visibility had been reduced to only a few yards by gale-force winds and driving sleet and hail, the referee abandoned the match on the hour mark and ordered the players off the pitch.

When everyone met up in the bar after their baths it was noticed there was no sign of Mr Roaden. The players set off in search of him to discover that he was still running up and down the touchline, unaware that the match had been abandoned. Poor Mr Roaden explained that he had not heard the whistle or seen the players scarper towards the dressingrooms and assumed that the, em, action was taking place at the other end of the pitch, which he could not see. "Oi linesman - you blind?" as they say.