Johnny Watterson’s TV View: worst of both worlds for Irish sides

"We have reason to be optimistic and reason to worry," said Eamon Dunphy. He was talking about Ireland's Euro 2016 match against Belgium.

The words could just as easily have come from rugby's former Irish winger Shane Horgan prior to Ireland's second Test against the Springboks.

“Clark and McCarthy are the reasons to worry,” added Dunphy, becoming more specific. He was going in studs up before a ball was kicked. Clark he forgave for the OG against Sweden, but the red mist part of the defender’s game worried him.

“Clark is not cool. If he sees the ball he dives on it,” said Dunphy. “He is rushed. He is not composed.”

Malaise

Liam Brady tried hard to be optimistic. But there was a malaise across the leaden RTÉ studio that they couldn't shake off. For the three amigos it was talking up an Irish team facing a side located in a different postal code in terms of technical accomplishment. They were at opposite ends of the Monopoly board.

What they didn't want to do was put the boot into Martin O'Neill's side before they had at least crunched some of the Belgians to see if they were expensive chocolate or stand up.

“I will agree with Eamon that Clark can be rash,” said Brady.

John Giles chimed in.

“He’s a good lad. But . . ,” said Giles. Like executives at a summit meeting they made their conclusion. Ireland were shagged.

But in the sun around Bordeaux the fans were bright. Shagged too, but bright.

Amid the broken glass and overturned tables and body cams that recorded the up close face of hooliganism in other cities, the Irish “boys on tour” were singing.

“Irish boys on tour” have a peculiarly fearless attitude to international threats. It’s as if they faced enough of that stuff in Ireland’s sorry past and “the hooligans” know it.

Snatch squads

Then if all fails they sing The Fields of Athenry, surely better than a canister of tear gas. You can't pick up and throw back The Fields of Athenry. The French police snatch squads might try it. Drop the weapons lads, put away the stab vests, and one, two three: Low lie the fields of . . .

Mon Dieu, an anti-riot device that works!

In studio, Johnny Giles was at it, making the most obvious truism sparkle like a recently unearthed emerald. How does he do that?

“Spirited when we don’t have the ball, very poor when we do have the ball,” noted the great man, who has coined his own phrases that are code for longer explanations.

“Someone needs to put their foot on the ball” is one. In the Giles Thesaurus it means control, wisdom, calmness, structure, vision, possession of faculties and football intelligence rolled into one.

Three goals to nil. Someone needed to put their foot on the ball.

In Johannesburg Mark Robson’s comforting Belfast accent told us of the heights Ireland had reached. Loving up Joe Schmidt’s team after just one win of three Test matches seemed too much. But he was talking about the altitude.

Then there was a little gem, the gist of which was that the Springboks were fining players for red cards. There was a bit of a din in the ranch and he did mention £1,000 pounds and sterling, but it doesn’t matter.

"Quinny," said Robson to his colleague Alan Quinlan, the former Munster and Irish stalwart, "if they did that in your day you'd be homeless."

Rip-roaring

It was worth a chuckle, as Ireland launched into a “rip-roaring start”.

Early doors it appeared as though CJ Stander’s ordinance on outhalf Pat Lambie last week was paying rich dividends, as South Africa’s Elton Jantjies missed two penalties in the first 30 minutes.

There were other things that caught the eye and ear, among them Springbok props looking dazed and confused, Adriaan Strauss shaking his head in bewilderment.

Then when temporary replacement Morné Steyn was hauled ashore for Jantjies to return to the pitch in the second half, it triggered a chorus of booing in Ellis Park. Why?

The quota system and government threats to the South Africa Rugby Union are divisive and troubling to South African rugby. Steyn is white, Jantjies black.

But the home win may have pushed that thorny issue down the road. Well, for one week at least, until the sides meet again in Port Elizabeth.

“It was a national crisis if they [Ireland] won that game today,” said Quinlan, who was far from egging the pudding. Up in the coach’s box, stress was released.

Allister Coetzee, the black man empowered to push through the quota system of black players comprising 50 per cent of the team by the next World Cup in 2019, choked back tears.

On the day, two managers, O’Neill and Coetzee, earned their salaries.