Few chinks of light in another misspent Saturday

TV View: Nothing confirms the end of summer like the onset of winter sports. The living room was an Olympics-free zone, yet Saturday still provided wall-to-wall sport. Outside, what we call summer in Ireland was lingering in possibly its last throes. Final, undeniable proof then that I should have paid more attention at school. What a waste of a lovely day.

The third Test from Old Trafford, the smug reincarnation of Football Focus, qualifying for the Hungarian Grand Prix - if you had a mind for it - or indeed the US PGA golf, the Springboks v the All Blacks, the All-Ireland football quarter-finals, Cork City v Shelbourne. And maybe a quick barbecue before The Premiership and Match of the Day.

With the Springboks due here in November, and the Lions down in New Zealand next summer, duty called. By half-time, with the All Blacks trailing 19-13 and facing into a second half at altitude, Seán Fitzpatrick was questioning their "naïve tactics", namely their much-debated flat alignment and high-risk handling.

Sure enough, they were eventually blown away by the rejuvenated Boks, but alas, we had to wait almost three hours for Fitzpatrick's post-match verdict as Sky were intent on moving swiftly along to a sevens tournament at a deserted-looking Twickenham (some people had sense).

The media hyperbole all summer long regarding the All-Ireland championships and the old Kerry-Dublin mystique drew one to Network Two. Fleetingly. By half-time, thankfully, Colm O'Rourke was calling it as he saw it.

"The standard of football to me is pathetic altogether. The amount of ball which has been kicked away by both sides is absolutely dreadful."

Pining for the good old days, when men were men, none more so than O'Rourke, he added: "It's a total pansies' game, football now, the way things are. There's a free for everything. It's amazing the way refereeing is gone now. Every little tip seems to be a free."

TV3's commitment to domestic soccer, outside of a tardy Monday-night highlights package, must be as frustrating for Damien Richardson and Noel King as it is for many others. At Turner's Cross they had something to get their teeth into.

By half-time King was deflated. "In terms of skilful football it's been poor, to be honest," he said.

Richardson was having a good game, quickly spotting Shelbourne's tactical shift, which saw the domestic game's classiest act, Wes Hoolahan, shifted to the right and Cameroonian Joseph N'do up front. Sensing Shels were "feeling the efforts of Wednesday night, none more so than Wes Hoolahan", he reckoned the game was there for Cork if they could up their effort.

Cue Hoolahan flummoxing three opponents in a tight space, enabling Ndo to tee up Stuart Byrne for a fine winner. By the end, Richardson admitted: "The better side won and the better side by a fair margin."

Back in the studio King concurred. When will we see them again?

Match of the Day's self-congratulatory recount of its 40-year history a week before had whetted the appetite for its return after a three-year hiatus, as well as reminding us we spent far too many of our formative Saturday nights sitting in.

"Welcome back," smiled a sharply dressed Gary Lineker, who if he were chocolate would surely have eaten himself. "Now where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?"

Three years of watching Sky and ITV has obviously told them their audience has dumbed down in their absence. Even Alan Hansen has lost his edge.

Delia Smith vied with Darren Huckerby for camera time in Norwich's draw with Crystal Palace. Cut to the celebrity chef when Huckerby put them ahead.

"And Delia's delighted," intoned commentator Steve Wilson. "There might be something special for tea in the Smith household tonight." One he prepared earlier?

Network 2's Premiership package doesn't have the same resources, but it does have Gilesy, fresh from a summer's golf (and unless he was too long in the make-up department, not just in Ireland either).

Of Norwich v Palace, Gilesy said wearily: "There was plenty of endeavour, enthusiasm, tackling." Pause. "Everything bar skill."

Tough going then, suggested Peter Collins. "It was awful, to be quite honest, as a neutral." He clearly wasn't happy to have missed such a good day's golfing.

Over on BBC, Mr Chocolate maintained: "It was a terrific game, played in a great atmosphere and with great spirit as well." "It wasn't great quality," Lawro dared to suggest, before quickly moving on.

Me? I'm going to get out more on Saturday nights.