Captain Hook gets it all wonderfully wrong again

TV VIEW The essence of good sport is that it is live, and unpredictable

TV VIEW The essence of good sport is that it is live, and unpredictable. Television producers might like to make a package that is seamless, but, in truth, the best programmes rely on sporting whims where blood and guts and the bounce of a ball have greater impact than background music or presenters being able to read the auto-cue.

On Saturday afternoon, RTÉ hit the nail on the head with its transmission of the European Cup match from Thomond Park in Limerick. Of course, Munster gave them the result that any home-town station would have wanted, but, unlike their counterparts in the BBC the previous night, who brought us the Ulster-Northampton match, those in RTÉ managed to give the couch potatoes at home a touch of the atmosphere. Not as good as being there, but a darn good substitute.

In contrast, BBC Northern Ireland's build-up to the Ulster match promised more than it delivered. Jackie Fullerton, in the anchor chair, was too laid back - and had an irritating habit of putting his hand to his mouth while speaking to the camera - and the boys in blue, aka analysts Jimmy Davidson and Stanley McDowell, spoke as if they didn't really believe Ulster could win, and certainly not by the margin required. Ulster did win, of course, and that seemed to please the two boys no end, but the whole package was too staid by far.

But contrast that with the mood and expectations before the Munster match. There was nothing laid back about Tom McGurk in his role as anchorman. Standing outside in order to get some of the atmosphere in the ground, McGurk's voice reached such heights at times that there was a fear he had undergone some sort of hormonal adjustment to allow him squeak like a schoolgirl at a hockey match.

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And the three wise men beside him - aka George Hook (demoted by McGurk from a lord to a mere archbishop), David Wallace and Mike Burton - similarly gave their thoughts in a way that suggested what was about to unfold would be an occasion not to be missed.

There was nothing over-the-top about their views and, with Hook involved, you could be sure that things wouldn't be viewed through red-tinted glasses. Indeed, what made it, as ever, was that Hook was again proven to be wrong - and the day that he starts tipping a Munster avalanche is the day that his passport won't allow him over the Treaty Bridge.

While Wallace talked of the odds being stacked against Munster and of winning by the required margin - scoring four tries more than Gloucester and winning by 27 points - being a "tall order", Hook got stuck into the meat of it.

"I don't think they can do it," he softly whispered (not), adding, "I don't think they can get it against one of the most parsimonious defences in Britain; don't think they can get it against a superior pack."

George really should get off the fence.

Anyway, Hook made the point that it would be difficult for Munster to win, never mind win by the margin required. He told us the Munster back row wouldn't be able to cope with the way Gloucester could move the ball the width of the pitch; of how the loss of Peter Clohessy at the scrum was so huge, and of how David Wallace was the best ball carrier in the Northern Hemisphere but he too was missing, turned into a television analyst for the day instead.

Hook expected Gloucester to provide "old fashioned west country rugby" that would "strangle Munster". He added: "I know of no other team in Britain better psychologically or physically prepared than Gloucester" to play against Munster at Thomond Park.

This sort of talk only works if the person spouting such words actually believes it and, certainly, you got the impression from Burton standing not three feet away from Hook that he believed it, too, even if the English guest was more diplomatic with his choice of words.

By half-time, though, Burton was admitting, "if you're from Gloucester, it's a serious situation". But, still, you got the impression that he believed his men would still qualify for the knock-out. McGurk, however, was telling the viewers at home to fasten their seat belts . . . and that's what was needed.

In true Hollywood fashion, the twist was left to the end. With the clock ticking down, co-commentator Ralph Keyes remarked to Jim Sherwin, "you get the feeling this could be it", and his words were prophetic as John Kelly lurched over for the clinching try.

Hook looked happy to be proven wrong. He told us that we could add Thomond Park to "Fatima, Knock and Lourdes . . . the lame will come here and walk; they'll be selling water here, (because) this defies logic".

As usual, the best words on live television were unscripted.