Approach the bench

Aah, bless him. Dino Baggio was substituted by Lazio/England manager Sven-Goran Eriksson last week during the game against his (Dino's) former and very beloved Parma - and what did he do?

He refused to sit on the Lazio bench, instead trying to snuggle in beside his ex-boss Alberto Malesani on the Parma big seat. "I was really touched," said Malesani. "He came over and said he would like to sit near me. Sadly, there wasn't any room."

So Dino returned to the Lazio area, at which point they, allegedly, told him to run along, in a none too sluggish fashion. So Dino was left standing in no-man's land, half way between Lazio and Parma. We're not ashamed to admit it: Planet Football wept buckets when they read this tale. Parma? Buy Dino back: now.